` first in my life, now and evermore

Easter!

2011-04-25T02:05:00.002+08:00

Hello!

Happy Easter (: It is a good reminder to me also; what an amazing God we serve that he rose from the dead and like, showed himself to many people manymany years ago (:

So..well it's in the middle of my Easter break (the month of April) and I have done some studying, and some travelling x) Specifically on my veryshort 2day Belgium trip on the 20th of April, on a train ride in the morning, I just...well, did morning devotion. I wasn't sleepy at all cos I slept well the night before and .. yupp, why not haha. It was Mark 15-16, on the resurrection and as I was reading, my ipod shuffled to Chris Tomlin's Unfailing Love. And it was..very uplifting.

You have my heart
And I am Yours forever
You are my strength
God of grace and power

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand

Praise you God of earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love
And You never change
God You remain the Holy One
My unfailing love
Unfailing love

So I was reading about Jesus' resurrection, and what he actually did. He was beaten and flogged, and crucified. And then the tomb which was made secure, became er, unsecure, and the women were afraid when he appeared to them. The disciples were afraid as well (which is logicial! Considering he died not too long ago ehy.) but he did actually come back to life and went up into heaven and all that.

Anyway, it really went into my head; this God who sent his Son to be crucified for my sins, this all powerful God who holds everything in his hand, and now, even now, ..especially now, he still makes time for me. I just felt so awed by God in that instant. This is amazing stuff, this mega-giganormous God, he makes time for insignificant me! Why oh why do I still feel so unsatisfied? God I want good grades, God I want more money, God I want a boyfriend, God I want God I want God I want..it's so selfish. God is bigger than this and at that moment I was just so thankful for all the blessings God has given me, the biggest of all is salvation. A line that Jmom (from lotsofscotts.blogspot.com) uses sometimes is, my heart is full. And it popped into my head and kept repeating itself. My heart is really full, I don't need any of these of the world, God is all I need (and not just part of what I need, but all).

Ah I pray for remembering this lesson. Because we are all forgetful creatures.

Idolatry

2011-02-07T03:04:00.002+08:00

Hello

Today's message in All Soul's was on idolatry, with reference to Psa 119 : 41 - 48.

ו Waw
⁴¹ May your unfailing love come to me, LORD,
your salvation, according to your promise;
⁴² then I can answer anyone who taunts me,
for I trust in your word.
⁴³ Never take your word of truth from my mouth,
for I have put my hope in your laws.
⁴⁴ I will always obey your law,
for ever and ever.
⁴⁵ I will walk about in freedom,
for I have sought out your precepts.
⁴⁶ I will speak of your statutes before kings
and will not be put to shame,
⁴⁷ for I delight in your commands
because I love them.
⁴⁸ I reach out for your commands, which I love,
that I may meditate on your decrees.

The preacher drew our attention to the psalmist's love for the Lord. He says, may your unfailing love come to me, I will always obey your law, I delight in your commands because I love them, I reach out for your commands that I may meditate on your decrees. This was obviously a hunger and longing for God's word, and that is amazing. I dunno, I guess I haven't actually felt something like that before, like a burning passion to know something etc. And well, he said that if we do not feel this passion and longing, it is highly likely we have idols in our hearts.

Idols don't necessarily take on a solid form, even I've heard that many a time. We taught this in NC for one of the smallgroup sessions that it's anything which takes the place of God. Maybe cos it was repeated so many times in this exact same way, it kinda lost its impact. The preacher today, he told us a story of a man who had to work abroad, and his fiancée was at home and y'know, finish working, come home to an empty house, feel lonely, and she read his letters every night before she went to sleep. Why? She obviously longs for him, in a lovesick kind of way..She didn't read his letters out of duty or discipline, or a nightly ritual; she did it because she missed him and longs for him. It painted a pretty powerful picture in my mind, I assure you.

And idols, they can be something as good as wanting to be a good christian leader, or a good small group leader, or a good testimony to others, or even a good girlfriend or wife or mother. These are all very good goals, but it turns into idolatry when this goal turns from being a good thing, to being the ultimate thing. The preacher mentioned another hypothetical scenario. A good, deeply committed Christian girl decides to turn her back on Christianity and marries the most eligible bachelor in her workplace. Good relationship, good marriage. But her want to become a good wife and mother >>> God! That's idolatry! If your want to be a good girlfriend to someone triumphs your want to know God more, that's idolatry!

This was insane, it struck me like ... shuttlecocks on a regular badminton social (I really do get hit alot, I realise) ! One of the questions he asked was what do we daydream about? Ohhhhh, that is one scary question. But there is definitely a link between what we daydream about, or our worst nightmare, and whether or not we long and thirst for God's word. Thinking long and hard about it, I think I normally end up daydreaming about boys. And continuing on from that train of thought, I am just majorly looking forward to er, getting a boyfr, or having a decent guy express interest in me, something like that. Probably more so than wanting to walk closer with God. I don't believe this feeling will ever fade, now I just pray that because it is God who planted this desire in my heart, to want to be a good girlfriend, wife and mother and serve the people in my life, he will grant it to me. But while I wait, I am certain that God wants me to serve him and him alone, to find my sufficiency in him and him alone, to trust also in him and him alone. All humans are fallible, God isn't. Putting my trust in the Lord, my Jehovah Jireh, is definitely definitely the way to go; and I mustmustmust learn this, even if it's through the hard way.

Just today, I think it's near that time of the month, I was really emotional. The whole day was just, omg I suck, why is my arrow grouping so big, why am I not hitting basic badminton shots, what am I doing wrong, WHY THE FREAKING HELL CAN'T I PLAY PROPERLY, why am I so useless, I feel so unvalued, zzz if I had a boyfr now I would go over to his hall and ask for a nice big hug, why am I so dependent on hugs from others, ...... and I remembered today's message about daydreams and idols :O

Guess I've found my idols. Pray that I will find my sufficiency in God, and all these things, they will not matter, because I will be content in my God, and know that God made me, fashioned me in my mother's womb, has a purpose for me, loves me above all else, more than anyone can, more than I can, and this is because His Son died for me. I am washed clean in His blood, righteous, and I know I am His, I will take delight in his law, and read His letters because I miss God, not out of duty or a ritual.

Herod and Herodias

2011-01-25T04:40:00.002+08:00

Hello (:

Hope you guys have been well! Sorry for not writing sooner man, busy with planning holidays O:

I basically spent my pre-Christmas in France, Christmas in London, post-Christmas+newyears in Italy with Jo and Dan x) So I'd say I ended (and started!) the year awesomely haha.

School this term's been picking up pace. I do about 2 less hours a week, but my lectures are crammed into mornings so it takes like a high amount of concentration early in the day x.x

Anyway, I've been learning many things from church (and OCF). Just yesterday, All Soul's was preaching about Mark 6:14-26. It was pretty enlightening I think, maybe cos I've never thought about it this way before; v16 is like a massive guilt thing weighing on Herod's conscience, because he was the one who had John killed and he regretted it dearly. v17-26 gives a flashback to what happened that time ya.

So then we ask, if Herod had a conscience, why then would he still marry Herodias who was his brother's wife? Or why would he not divorce her? The answer to this is that he couldn't bear to; like how often we can't bear to right our wrongs before God even after knowing we're wrong. The preacher surmised that Herod was probably overcome with lust, Herod and Herodias were just connecting on so many levels or had a high sexual affinity, whatever. But here comes John and he goes straight to Herod and tells him that this is wrong because Herodias is his brother's wife! Bear in mind Herod was king and he could execute John any time.

Anyway, so Herodias basically was quite pissed about John cos he kept saying it's not lawful it's not lawful, "nursed a grudge". v20 might seem a bit odd to you; Herod however, even after being told repeatedly he was wrong, feared John and protected him. Whut? He knew John was a holy and righteous man, and did not want to kill this fellow and even enjoyed listening to him. What do you think John preached to him day after day Herod came to listen to him? Probably something like 'repent, it is not lawful to have your brother's wife!' but Herod just comes to listen (and enjoys listening) to John but doesn't do anything about it. He sits on the fence regarding his sin and doesn't take action.

We learn that not taking action will probably culminate in undesirable circumstances forcing our hand later on: v21-26.

In v22, Herodias used her own teenage daughter to 'please' the king and his high ranking friends; she came in and danced for them. And the king made his foolish oath of 'ask for anything you want, up to half my kingdom.' Ofcourse, being only a girl she went to ask her mother, and Herodias asked for John's head on a platter. V26, 'the king was greatly distressed' because he knew John to be holy and righteous, but how? He promised her with an oath. He had one last decision to make; would he defend John and retract his foolish promise, or would he try and save his face in front of all his dinner guests and agree to the request? He obv chose the latter and regretted it ya.

We are actually real similar to Herod. Sometimes we know that we should not marry Herodias because it is wrong, but then again, I can't help it/can't stop/don't want to divorce. But we also enjoy listening to preachers preaching about sin and turning away from God and we feel all guilty and stuff, but we don't do anything about it. We come day after day to the chapel to listen to John, feeling sinful, but unable to decide properly like to cut off the offending arm, or remove your eye because it is leading you to sin. Later we end up having to make a massive decision because of this undecisiveness and I'm willling to say that I end up making the bad choice most, if not all the time. If I can't submit the small things to God, like divorcing Herodias, what makes me think I can submit the big things to God, like whether or not to kill John to save face?

Yeah anyway it was a good service, I did actually reflect on my life and the sins that are in it. Please continue praying that I will put God first in front of my play, my computer, my studies (:

And I really appreciate fellowship and the bible study with my small group in OCF la, and it's encouraging to see how my group leaders spur us on to love and good deeds like in Heb 10:24-25 (And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.) It'd be great for you guys to continue going to YF and YA cell regularly too (: !

Please also, could you pray for my housing arrangements for September? I get kicked out of hall for 2nd year and basically have to find my own place. My friends and I, we're looking for a 5 bedroom flat near school and we'd much appreciate prayer about this, thaaanks (:

[an email I sent. It's a good reminder about Herod and Herodias for me too (:]

OCF Bible Study

2010-10-25T21:38:00.004+08:00

Hello (:

I mainly just wanted a place to write this down and immortalise it haha. I'm with OCF doing bible study on the chapter of Romans now, and so far we've done Romans chapter one and two, and it is very interesting x)

So, the theme for OCF is 'Why is the gospel so good?'

And the book of Romans is generally recommended for people who want to find God again, renewal of faith etc. (as said in my NIV study bible haha), which was good cos I feel like I'm abit off track this past few months..

We've completed Rom 1 and 2:

Rom 1
Verses 1-7 is like a mini summary of the gospel and intro to the book of Romans
8-15 is the reason for writing this book/letter
16-23 is on righteousness vs. unrighteousness
24-32 on the penalty and consequences of sin.

Pointers in Rom1
v1: we're all saved by the same gospel.
v2-6: "for his name's sake", what does that mean? xref: Rom 9:22-23. God's glory is so awesome already that we can't actually add to it, but we can glorify his name by sharing it with the world.
We've also been saved by grace (undeserved mercy), and we need this because we can never match up to God's holiness.

v10-12: on fellowship and prayer. Building each other up and encouraging one another.
v16-17: The righteousness we receive from God is by faith. Paul explicitly states that he is unashamed of the gospel; infer that maybe in that culture then, it was extremely tempting to be 'ashamed' of the gospel like dodging questions about spirituality etc. But in v17 we know that the gospel is the salvation of everyone who believes.

So, is this true in my life? Do I really believe that it is the salvation of everyone who believes? Would truly believing this change the way I do things? Perhaps our lifestyle choices, the way we speak or act (xref: 1Pet 3:15-17), the care and concern (or lack of) we show others. If this gospel is so good, why do we not want to share it, why are we ashamed of such an awesome thing like God-given forgiveness and grace?

v18: on the godless men who live as though there is no God, but there is.
v20: the entire world and its creation testify to God's nature, and man is without excuse in thinking there is no God.
v21-23: idolatory, the foolishness of men who exchange a living God for mere statues. Exchange the spring of life for broken cisterns (xref Jer 2:13). Idolatory/putting things before God defies the first commandment, to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.

v18-32: actually, we're the ungodly wicked people. This is how bad we are in comparison with a holy God, this is why we need grace, and this is why the gospel is so good, cos it offers us a way out, we the ungodly wicked people..We're freed from the entrapments of sin, and the only reason is because of God's love for us. It's for the salvation of ALL who believe, in spite of all the nonsense we do, we have this GREAT news.

Rom 2
It's about judgement and falling short of the law, being self righteous, the superiority and hypocrisy of the Jews. Also stating that God's judgement is inevitable and just.

v1: "You, therefore, have no excuse.." Reasons are stated previous chapter; people who know the law and fall short = fail. God will judge us in truth. We shouldn't judge because, we put God off his rightful throne, and, xref Matt 7:1, we will instead be judged by the same measure we use.

v4: If we judge, we haven't truly repented. If we can truly recognise our godlessness and wickedness, how can we judge a brother or sister knowing we are THAT bad? Clearly we haven't realised the severity of our own sin.
Judging in real life could be simple things like negativity towards a person, condemnation or pride (thinking I'm a better person; which we're not, obviously).

v6: It is judgement on what we have done. And all have fallen short of God's glory, no one can match up to it, except Jesus Christ.
v7: The eternal life is the eternal presence of God, that we may know him. (xref John 17:3)

v12-13: The ones who know the law, will be judged by the law. But even the ones who don't, will be judged by their consciences (xref Luke 12:48). Point to note is that our conscience is also fallen and sinful, therefore we should continually seek to be corrected by God.

v16: Finality that judgement will come.

v17-24: Jews are God's chosen people, why do they not set an example? We also should not forget we know the law and should set an example.

v25-27: on rituals, we have things like baptism and communion to help point us back to God, but they will not have value if we do not obey and keep the law; we're still a lawbreaker.

v28: basically a true Christian is one inside out, and not just in name.

So we must realise that we are extremely sinful, and will be judged on what we have done ("judge men's secrets" v16). The only response we can have is to repent and worship God, because we are so unworthy and so fail, that ..all we can do is give all we have to God for his glory.

/edit
We move on to Rom 3

Rom 3

So it's mostly directed to Jews, who were entrusted with the words of God.
v3-8, on God's faithfulness. Many rhetorical questions and rebuttal of human arguments.
v10-18, sinfulness (in thought, word and deed)
v21-26, we're given a righteousness by faith, God gives us a way out.
v27-31, conclusion about the nature of our faith, that we are circumcised in the spirit

v3-8, it's a human argument if we say we glorify God when we sin or be unrighteous, and we shouldn't be judged for it. That's nonsense.
And in v8, 'let us do evil that good may result'? Nonsense! God does not need our pitiable efforts to make him look good/to prove how righteous he is. There is no way we can add (or subtract) any of God's glory, ever. Is he then unjust for bringing his wrath on us? No, because he is a just and holy God and therefore sin has to be punished.
v4, this is the basis for our faith, that God exists, and all his words are truthful.

v4,6 points to God's sovereignty as judge of the world. xref Psa 51:4

Characteristics of God -- v3, faithful. v4, 7, true/truthful. v5, just.

v9-20, all of us are unrighteous, sinful, and we do no good. This part dispels all human confidence in our works. This is how we look to a holy God.
There are three main categories of sin, thought, word and deed.
v11, 12, 18, sin in thought, failing to love God.
v13, 14, sin in word
v12b, 15, 16, 17, sin in deed. On violence, ruin, misery, war, causing dissent and factions. And v12b, 'there is no one who does good', point to note is that passivity/neutrality =/= doing good xref Jas 4:17
And, v18's fearing God is more about respect for his omnipotence, to fear his judgement, to shun evil xref Prov 14:16
v20, we miss the mark and cannot match up. Same like before, keeping the law without God in our hearts is meaningless. The law is the benchmark we compare ourselves to; it's to convict us of sin xref Rom 7:7, and of doing wrong.

v21-26, specifically v23, that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We sin, fail to meet God's standards, fail to give God the glory. We have exchanged the glory of God for mere images xref Rom 1:23
v24, element of redemption and the cost to God. Also reconciliation, and freely justified: we did nothing to earn it, and no one can boast, no one can claim they are more righteous than others.

And we conclude that the gospel is so good because: it's the greatest free gift, period. And my assurance of salvation if only I believe: we are freely justified.

Rom 4
v1-8, Abraham being justified by faith and not works
v9-12, don't need to be circumcised to be justified
v13-17, righteousness is from faith and not from the law
v18-25, Abe's story
Abe's actually the founding father of their faith, symbolic character, kinda like must follow in his footsteps. Paul was trying to debunk myth that Jews are more righteous cos Abe was a symbol of righteousness but he was justified by faith (was not circumcised).

v1-8, Abe wasn't justified by works
v7, 8, is from David's psalm when he broke 4 commandments during his episode with Bathsheba (murder, adultery, idolatory, coveting) xref Psa 32:1,2 and he could still say blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him (after FOUR broken commandments!?!) We're really justified by faith and not by works.
v7, our sins are covered by the blood of Christ. Righteousness is credited to us based on that and that alone (in a sense, it removes our 'negatives' i.e. sin, and also adds 'positives' i.e. Christ's righteousness)

v9, 10, faith was credited to Abe before circumcision. Circumcision is a physical sign that they were set apart for God, not the thing which makes us righteous.
v11, 12, Abe is the father of all who believe and are not circumcised, and also of all circumcised and follow in his footsteps.
v13-15, it was faith that gave Abe the promise that he'll be the heir of the world and have many descendants.
v16, if we were to depend on the law for promises, no one would have gotten it, because all have fall short and unable to fulfill the law. The promise comes from grace and guaranteed to all.
v17, our God is a powerful God who can call things that are not as though they were, namely raise Jesus from the dead, and call us righteous by the blood even though we on the inside are obviously not.

v20, Abe's unwavering faith and hope in the most dire circumstances. The object of his faith was God and he gave glory to him and v21, being fully persuaded that God will fulfill his promise.
v22-25, there is justification by faith.
v25, Jesus died for our sins, and to conquer sin/death, he was raised again and we can say we serve a living God.

So, why is the gospel so good? There is a way that we can be righteous, and that is by the blood of Christ, and this is the way out. Nobody is more righteous than anyone else, and faith clears our inequities.

Because It's Been Too Long

2010-09-21T00:29:00.003+08:00

Hello

! Last post in May waturf! But after that emo post I didn't feel like posting anymore lol; fail.

So, I'm leaving about 23hours later, to London UCL to do Econs. I've been playing badminton weekly for about 5plus weeks now, and I think I'll join the club in UCLU :P

Met many, many people for food; see all Singapore people next summer when I be back.

Wrote notes for YA, youth, archers and ISLE. Passed N his and he expressed surprise at why it was so short, and thought it'd be longer! And I just gave a vague indistinct answer lol.

Can't wait for London actually (: But I figured I should do a post on what items I'd miss in Spore haha:

off the top of my head,
` specifically, chinese food like yumcha, and staples like rice
` getting anything I need on my table (like everything is here alr. Here here x) I scared go there suddenly want something from my old table BUT IT'S NOT THERE D: e.g. my gameboy color.)
` some of my shortsleeved shirts, with sentimental value, like school shirts, camp shirts.
` miss the church people
` archery medals on my noticeboard :P
` definitely my bed and 3 pillows and bolster and blanket
` the books at home
` having a hughug from my mommy

Can't think of any more cos it's abit late ah. Might continue this in the next post haha. In the meantime I'll probably continue listening to mrbrown to keep myself in touch with latest issues lolol.

And Col 3:12 says "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." and by this, people will know that I choose to follow Christ (:

Slack maaax

2010-05-09T00:37:00.002+08:00

Hello

Haha a post a month man, this is bad :\

Still no job, although I'm waiting for word for a few. Looking at a freelance school excursion facil for p/s sch kiddos, but I'm not ENTIRELY sure I'd continue. Giving it a try on 17th-19th May yupp.

Had YA today, feels like it's been awhile since I've seen them..movie outing at Bugis to watch Donnie Yen kick ass :P

That's about as much as my life goes these days.

Was just thinking about how..my interactions with N has changed. I would have considered him a good friend (close friend even) just about half a year ago but now it's like..I dunno. My excuse is that we've run out of topics so we just don't talk. Nonetheless, I think he knows and .. avoids me/finds it awkward to interact one on one I guess. I feel like I've been putting all the effort into trying to maintain some sort of 'friendship' and there's no response (this kinda applies to some other guys also, maybe it's an NS problem.); say I'm always initiating the msn convos/smses/irl.. and I'm tired. I've just about given up on all/almost all of the people who do it; it's sad that our friendship disappears by not communicating, but I can't be bothered alr. You want to ignore me, I'll ignore you too, until I feel exceptionally joyful one day and decide to say hi and ask how's life. Regrettable.

It looks like real hard to be a female friend to a NSF. No biggie. We'll make friends after ORD. If I still bother about you.

Sigh, where's that Matthew.

Update

2010-04-07T01:05:00.002+08:00

Hello

Ah, I'm such a bummer now. Haha don't even have tuition, so I'm just bumbumbum. This Thursday got School 1 POP! Daniel and I crashing, hope can get in :\ I wanna see my friends in army uniform D: Then it's payday also at Funan. Sat got archery outing, see if can go flykite at Sengkang (: And....still been playing DotA every night lol. Slowly migrating to other custom maps though.

Went polyclinic to do a lipid profile test again..hope everything's alright :\ Sigh need to exercise more..nothing else's been happening in my boring life. I'm always on the com but never on blogs. Mmmm.

Church Camp

2010-03-22T11:58:00.004+08:00

Hello

Church camp 19th to 21st March! Hahaha 'twas quite fun la, even though I didn't play the games x)

Oh anyway, medcheck on Fri morning, the noob medics draw blood until now still got blueblack, failz. Reached campsite about 2pm. Caught a cold that morning so I used all my tissue on the first day :\

So..first day, I missed icebreakers in the morning. It was raining also, so the dry games became abit wet. Played three legged soccer (my ankle got bruised badly), dodgeball with tangerines and broccoli and pingpong balls, captain's ball also. Didn't run around thaat much but still had fun x)

We washed up and ate dinner, by that time my nose was running nonstop hahaha. First day was the most 'down' for me, cos only had 15plus campers, and few YA, so was abit xian during free times. Debriefed until 12, then went back to bunk and HTHT with Dianne and fell asleep after awhile. Didn't even know when Emme came back from her bath and switched the lights off lol. Highlight of debrief when Joel said he experienced some 'overpowering swearing' in camp, where we thus concluded that we should actively discourage the usage of vulgarities the following day hahaha.
Woke up in the morning at 7.20 feeling much worse cos my nose was blocked and my throat was sore..Then remembered that Nat was coming to camp later so I got him to buy Panadol Cold Relief from Sembawang for me. Thought Nat'd reach before Candace did (cos' at 9plus he said he was leaving his house and reaching 'soon', and Candace was due to come around 10ish 11 haha) but he reached later so that was dumbz. Anyway, I led the younger guys for devotion, like go through what we learnt in the message last night, and how to hold fast to the Word. Group dynamics for the guys was the amoeba game, Joel was explaining the instructions and he said he wanted one guy to be the nucleus but he thought it was plural and said 'nuclear'. Tyn and I corrected him multiple times and it went something like this:
J: ...so we need one guy to be the nuclear and-
T: Joel, nucleus.
J: Uhh..okay..so we need one person to be the nuclear la
S: Nono, nucleus, nucleus!
J: But nucleus sounds weird cos it has an 's' !
T: Nucleus, it's nucleus.
J: Right, we need one person to be the .. nucleus, and he will stand in the middle ......

Haha, Emme and I then went to join the girls' group dynamics, which was a HTHT about BGR and PMS lol. I thought it was abit heh, but okai, I was never really shy about these things anyway. We also went on to a list of what we would look for in a guy lol. Mine was that he should be someone I can follow, and he must have my family's and friends' approval. Basically I'd rather a guy who treats all girls the same (which is treating them normalnice) than a guy who treats me like a queen and his other friends like dirt. If nobody in my circle of friends like him, and I like him alotalot, then there may be something that I'm not seeing, yepp.
Lunch next, and wet games next. Was raining again, so people got wet before playing haha. I dodged this one and sat in the canteen watching them play. General lethargy and after taking Panadol I was abit woozy also lol. Seemed quite fun (: Photos are allll on facebook heh.

Talent night was quite cute, videos are also on facebook. Debriefed till 12 again, three guys let loose a frog in the lap of Joel, and it jumped up towards the girls and they all screamed and ran about. Haha. Ryan thought Dianne was going to step on the poor frog in her haste to get away, agh that'd be sick. So..we were on our way to the canteen to slack and talk, Belle asked for help on Chem so I stayed there to teach her abit. When I reached the canteen Ry was telling army ghost stories hahaha. After listening to some, Dianne didn't want to listen anymore and Nat was like, stop stop, I still need to book in tomorrow night lol. All the ghost stories were Tekong one, so..anyway I found them quite interesting haha. Some were funny, like some idiot locked his phone into his cupboard and someone called him in the middle of the night. It vibrated = made the cupboard shake noisily which woke half the bunk up and scared them shitless until the owner realised it was his phone loll.

We went upstairs to the common space where there was light and they started telling army stories. Funny people in their company/camp, screwedup things that happened, cool things that happened, like just recently Ninja COY got some guy kena stroke, airvac'd to mainland. The 'copter landed in the field and Nat was watching (it was the weekend he got confined apparently, means 13th Mar night) and the rotor blades was huge and powerful etc.etc. Ryan mentioned a time when the Leopard tanks drove out onto the roads and I remembered a time when I was cycling in ECP and saw friggin' tanks on ECP like the highway. I was gawking at the sheer size of the tank hahaha. It was supposedly some exercise to test whether the roads can support the tank weight lol. He said there were bigger tanks and I was like, ah, do you guys have big tanks which open up and like, five small tanks come out lol, like Transformers type x) Hahaha anyway there wasn't, but there are tanks which open up and infantry come running out. There are also tanks which open up and have two motorcycles come out, then the infantry come running out. And there are also tanks which open up and nothing comes out lol.

We talked about drills, and how some weird people horsekick/do a round kick when stamping, rifle drills "1 check, clear check, .....' some ultra long timing lol. And stories during live range, like when Ryan fell prone to shoot, on the way up the barrel got caught in his LBV's right pocket and after twisting it out, he realised that the barrel was pointing straight at him. Or he knows of someone from another unit who prone'd on a tree root and impaled himself. Airlifted to hospital. Tonnes of weird funny stuff which happened haha. Slept late, like 3am x)
Next morning just mostly packup, breakfast, take photos, then went LAN and came home around 5plus. DMS interview today at 3, pray for a clear mind (:

IT Show @ Suntec

2010-03-16T21:25:00.002+08:00

Hello

Woo IT Show 11th-14th March at Suntec. Ultra shag cos stand from 10.30 to 10.30 lol. They overstaffed, so it was hard to sell. Sold 31 sets throughout the four days, now just waiting for paycheck lor. Overall, I suppose it was quite fun la (although during the sales itself was super xian and tiring), met new people and all that.

Besides that, I was mostly doing scholarship applications, and wrote tonnes of essays ._. I'm currently done with eleven, and gonna do three more before youth camp this friday. Mindef also, somehow, requires me to be medchecked at CMPB even though I only applied for DMS (which doesn't require signing on like SAFOS or SMS) whereby if I get it, I'll enter MINDEF as a DXO. Sucks, cos it's on Friday morning, so I'll be at camp late.

Nothing much's been happening in my life lately, just feeling a bit more lonely these days.

March alreadyyyyyy

2010-03-07T17:59:00.003+08:00

Hello

Walao, so fast March already, my 8month break is slowly disappearing ):

So..first of all, results were on 5th Mar. Didn't have any 'expectations'; only got hope that I can meet the UK conditional offers (opens up my options). But I was kinda all prepared to emo the remainder of the day away at skatepark or maybe someone's sofa :\ Turned out that I got A for GP, Math (heng arh), Chem and Econs (!) and B for Physics lor. First feeling was like, whoaaaaaaaaaaaaah 4As whew. Then now feeling is like, wa the B abit cui, how to get scholarship liddat.

But well..I really think it's by God's grace, the results. I studied hard for my A's, but didn't feel like I did well comparatively (to my peers, and since A's are bellcurve'd, relative 'doing wellness' is important lol). Check STOMP answers then wah so many wrong, goodgame guys. To top it off, I applied for UCAS with York and Manchester as my 'stable' schools, and LSE Warwick UCL as my 'reach' schools, so I was extremely surprised when UCL sent me a conditional offer mid Feb for AAA in Math, Econs, Phy/Chem. My prelim results not fantastic, but UCL being imba, decided reasonably fast that she wants me if I can meet the basic AAA criterium. I was expecting LSE Warwick and UCL to reply after A's results are sent to them, yepp. 'tis to God's glory. And LSE rejected my ass off anyway lol.

So..I'm seriously considering UCL as my main choice for uni now, which kinda means that I probably will go overseas in September thereabouts. Qionging scholarship essays these two weeks, I want DMS or SIA haha, but don't think can get, cos of the B in Physics and these two scholarships are..'high fliers'. ..No pun intended.

Yerps, and these two days I've been reflecting a lil', in the case that I go UK, what I will miss the most, or have trouble leaving behind/putting it down. Since I don't meet any RJC people facetoface, only online/sms (even then, it is rare), I probably won't miss them as much as the dudes in church cos' I see them weekly. Or maybe it's skewed towards church people friendships because of a particular heavier weightage on a certain friend lol. That'd definitely be one of the things I'd have trouble leaving behind.

Haha, which brings me to the point that I was trying to make to Rcl. I opine that my/your future prospects/course in uni should not be lower in priority than a boyfriend (or in my case, a guy I really like). I mean, if the results obtained enables you to go to a significantly better uni, or take a course you prefer (like vet science, which spore does not offer), and you are not THAT constrained by financial issues, I don't see why someone should sacrifice that for a mere boyfriend. Ultimately decision is yours tho haha. And no point holding on to a relationship for long distance, which means in my case, I don't want to go steady with him already, even though I still like him alot. Abit stupid, date a few months then I pack bag go UK. And people change over time, no harm keeping the relationship open like B and her French friend J.

Sigh.

Anyway, YAG (at least, six of us) went to Icekimo to 'celebrate' A's results haha. Shared icecream and just slack there, exchanging army stories and A level stories x) Great times.

K I slept 5 hours (versus the usual 10) and cycled OCBC 40k in the morning at 6freakingam.

Shack. Nap. Bai.

CNY

2010-02-14T21:37:00.003+08:00

Hello

Well, the trigger for this post ain't exactly CNY but nm. First of all, happy lunar new year (: Tigers are cool.

And I will never ever, get married in January (cos' CNY straddles Jan/Feb) so the safest earliest time to get married is late Feb; save tonnes of money guaranteed.

Haha okay anyway, went church today, I think this year's been better cos' economy improving. Many aunties have graciously contributed to the 'serene trust fund' and my savings have well, increased by some $80. On the other hand, HK doesn't seem to be doing so well, relatives bumped my HK cash pool only by about $750. No biggie, it's still considered windfall much heh.

I cycled 36k on Thursday, excellent stuff. Saw Nat's hair on Friday at Sarah's gig, again, excellent stuff both haha.

..

...emo again.

Tekong

2010-02-05T18:01:00.002+08:00

Hello

Woo, I went to Tekong on the 4th and 5th Feb, school 1 and 2 hahaha. Let's see..videos were boring, the place reminds me of npcc/redcross campsites, tekong sun is hotter than mainland sun (no idea why, maybe the concrete?), school 2 food really better than school 1 HAHA.

I was really impressed (but I shouldn't be since this is the military) by the organisation of bunking likerr. 16 men in a room (the smell ohmy. The smell x.x) = 1 section, 4 sections/bunks in a floor = 1 platoon, 4 floors of sleepingness = 1 building = 1 company.

Was surprised by the SPRINGY mattresses they have for beds hahaha, I thought still the army daze type of foamy mattress.

So surreal, my friends all enlisting alr. Lu's alr inside, then 4th and 5th there're people like Junwen, Yanwei, Kevin, Kersh, Nat, Edmund, Nigel, all my dotar people ): Time to do more job searching or I'll start getting bored haha. I'll miss them so (: but I have faith that they'll go in boys and come out men x) Whee for NS!

Jobhunting Starts

2010-01-29T14:29:00.004+08:00

Hello

Since then, I've bought myself a new notebook :D
LG R480
Windows 7
Intel Core 2 Duo T6600 @ 2.2GHz
4GB RAM
Integrated NVIDIA GeForce
16:9 aspect on my 14" screen.

So everything's looking strangely flatter/shorter now. Useful for those pesky BluRay widescreen movies haha. Uh, I'm still disconnecting my ass off from DotA so..time to change my router.

I'm on the backstitching of my cross stitch work of a Christian soldier. Goal to finish before Feb arrives.

Tried aggro at the Extreme Skatepark at ECP. Can't seem to do even a soulgrind stall, how pathetic. Zhammed my knee, has an orhcheh half the size of my palm on it now.

And I shaved my hair off, so I'm going around with a hat nao. Hope I don't look sick much :\

Feels like reading Juliet Marrillier again, she is so good :D

Mahjong'd last Sunday, mj again this Sunday :D

Well, and (random) this one is .. you could say the first guy I've actually wanted him to be in a relationship with me. The rest were..I liked them (some alot, some not so alot), but there was no overwhelming desire to get together, even if they 'fessed to me. So, I realised this in 2010, can add this to the list of 'firsts' this year x)

Right, and I've signed up like on four tuition websites/agencies. Indicated interest in three assignments, so I guess I'll just wait. Hope I remember my Sec Sch stuff heh.

Singapore

2010-01-22T23:07:00.004+08:00

Hello

Haha, previous post was from Thailand about Thailand, this is from Singapore about Thailand. Okay so, I spent 14th to the 19th at MBD, and 19th to 21st in BKK.

First of all, before I forget, on the first day at Changi Airport, I met a super handsome guy Joshua Ch'ng HAHA. He was my immigration officer dude checking my passport lol. I passed him my passport with the raffles cover, and he asked 'serene isit?' and obviously yes. 'Just finished A levels?', and I said yes, I was going out to play till March results come out. He wished me luck and gave me a super super cute grin. Daily dose of testosterone, check :D

Hmm I'll continue with random incidents haha.

We created our own 'funny stories' cos they were too classic to forget xD They're on Daniel's blog and I'll compile it soon and repost here haha.

Isa can't hold her liquor. Three gulps of white wine on the plane was enough to make her ultra high x)

We swam in the River Kwai. The current pwns all lol.

Some kids swim nekkid x.x

Met four other volunteers, two Burmese ladies Mikey and Nancy, French-Thai guy Remi, and NZ guy Daniel. Their dynamics reminds me of me, Isa, Nigel and Dagoh haha, alot of fun and laughter x)

It must be the French-speaking from young which makes a voice come from deep inside (and rumbles chest hahaha), versus the wimpy sounds most of the Sporean guys make x)

Wanxiu donated 18kg of books which we hauled there and shelved in their library.

Isa learns a new word a day. Tank, LAN shop, overkill, mahkee (horse shit in Thai). Uses them in every other sentence for the entire day/two days lol.

We met Junwen (and his chauffeur Hansa) in Thailand. JW was wearing a shirt which had the chinese character shi2 = food, on the back and I commented on how fitting it was. His chauffeur Hansa, is quite the witty one hahaha. Dagoh bought Thai for beginners the book, and was reciting random Thai phrases until Hansa glanced back and asked 'how come he knows more Thai than Junwen?' lollll.

We asked Hansa what kilei/kirei meant, cos the kids called us that in MBD, and it means pretty in Japanese. Hansa said it means ugly in Thai, how lovely.

JW asked why that particular motorcycle taxi dude was wearing a purple vest with Thai words on the back, cos' the BKK district uses orange vests. Hansa said 'cos' he handsome.' JW explains to us that this is what is done when Hansa doesn't know the answer either hahaha.

We asked whether taxi/skytrain/tuktuk back to hotel is cheapest, and Hansa said, taxi about 80baht, tuktuk 100baht. But taxis sometimes not happy to send foreigners to such a near place (2km wakling distance), so he said 'you can try the tuktuk. 4 people squeeze inside is funny.' xD It was such a Singaporean phrase that all of us cracked up hahaha, but JW later said Hansa meant it was fun to squeeze four people in the tuktuk haha. Nonetheless x)

Isa says she wants to bring her husband-to-be here next time to see how he acts around kids lol.

She named this particular trip, ISLE Be Back For You (cos our first trip was ISLE Be There For You). The name kinda stuck.

Thai whatever in Baht is mother cheap. Everything is mother cheap.

[edit]Every morning Dagoh's alarm would wake us up with the chorus of David Cook's Always Be My Baby.

All of us were impressed with the wallpaper on Dagoh's Mac. Even Tookta (the lady in charge), when she gave us free notepads as thanks for our donation, said it's for Daniel and his girlfriend hahahaha.[/edit]

I think I may consider going back as well. Probably with a group of closer friends during a summer break, spend 2-3 weeks there. The experience is totally, totally amazing.

Thailand

2010-01-18T17:44:00.002+08:00

Hello

I'm in Thailand! Hahaha still in Moo Baan Dek, tomorrow be going off to Bangkok. Ahwells. Was here for quite awhile already :\ time to leave soon..

Nothing much happens in my life as usual. This time though, got to swim in the river and meet the other volunteers here :D Mmmm, we helped them set up an online guestbook of sorts at http://moobaandek.blogspot.com and well, we hope the tradition will pass on to other volunteers lo. Hmmmm, we watched a movie every night here :P cos their bedtime's at like 9.30, and we go back to our house bored shitless; lucky we brought movies (:

Nothing much now ba, not really looking forward to the long trip tomorrow back to Bangkok. But looking forward to the massage we're gonna get in BKK xD

Aight, that's about it. I just mostly miss my DotA and Singapore slackiness hahaha. Getting surrounded by kids the entire day is a bit..taxing on the senses. Must gets work when I come back to Singapore, and start cycling or die for OCBC 40 :P

Photos be on facebook soon, and the various funny moments too x)

:\

2010-01-12T19:36:00.002+08:00

Hello

Well, so I'm back in Singapore and discovered something weird about my router/computer/internet. I DCed alot from DotA in HK, come back to Singapore and DCed alot lesser. The weird thing is that it's on dynamic IP (it used to be static IP), now on dynamic IP, I'm DCing lesser, but totally unable to torrent. On static IP, I DC tonnes but can torrent my stuff. Hella annoyed with the opportunity cost zz.

Went to LAN on Sat and Sun, played DotA almost every night, inhouse mostly. Mmm..not been doing much, cycled a few times, trying to finish my cross stitch of a christian soldier so in the highly unlikely event that y'know, the guy I like asks me out, there's something for him to bring into army x)

Got my new DLT group on Sunday, Joel's my trainee leader, Phoebe Rebecca Julia Justin Marcus are in my group. Odd dynamics, but I'll try my best to overcome it I guess. Well, it wasn't a very good start cos uhm. Okay see, normally Nat diffuses awkward silences with funny stuff, I'm not exactly good with that. On Sunday, I was really tired which makes me more prone to having these awkward silences cos I get rly xian and stuff, and to add on the fact that nobody in the group kinda knows each other. Joel also didn't know what to do (and it's not his fault cos it's his first time leading) and well, fail. Didn't help that I was tired, was with a new group whom I didn't know at all, and kept comparing Joel with Nat unintentionally. It sooked ):

On a happier note, sorta, I'm going to Thailand 14th to 21st Jan to play heh. When I come back I will make a big attempt to do something to my group to make it .. more conducive to DLT (: Pray for me haha.

HongKong!

2010-01-04T23:52:00.007+08:00

Hello

HAHA pwns. Had no time to blog from after a's cos playing too much :P

So, from the beginning of the end of a's came the end of the end of a's. I recall there were whoops in the ISH after Phy P1 on the 30th x) I lamely went home after that so, whatever.

Partied much, played LAN after church..Justine's house, then Edmund's house as a pre-PTP gathering for Lu, who enlisted on 11th Dec. Then..night cycling with some of my classmates. Did 42km and died; does not bode well for my 40k OCBC haha. Will train.

Helped out with church youth play rgd props and costumes. So there was a night where I looped Fireflies by Owl City say, 30 times. Then I met Nat and Rachel the next morning at cityhall to buy props stuff at Bras Basah; was too early, we dropped by Macs to have breakfast. I stepped in and voila, said song just started hahaha. Spent about $40~ which I've yet to claim from Dianne. Hmmm, photos and videos of the skit are on facebook; welldone much (:

Left for HK on the 17th, bought much stuff which I will tally at the end of the post. Ate ALOT, Japanese food, seafood, hotpot, yumcha yepp, those are about all the varieties. Kept eating Japanese food haha, cos here I stay in yuen long in the New Territories, and there's a Jap place here which serves huge ass pieces of sashimi at cheappppp prices :D And the first weekend I was there, i.e. 17th 18th 19th 20th was the coldest part of winter, lucky me. 12deg to 15deg or thereabouts.

Went Guangzhou on the 24th, sat in my uncle's Benz HAHA, helluva comfortable ride up into Shenzhen, then GZ lo. Second wave of coldness thanks, dropped to about 12degrees again. Mmm..learnt something interesting, which kinda made me distrustful and emo, but got over it cos it's not exactly my problem. Celebrated my grandma's 80th da shou :D good fooooood haha, and a cute manager who served us personally xD Shopped and ate, yerps (:

Came back HK on the 27th. Ate moar, shopped moar. Mom and bro left on the 31st and I ate moar and shopped even moar, and I'm leaving tomorrow morning on the 5th at 9.10am on a CX back to Singapore (:

I went to my cousin's church on the 3rd for a Cantonese service. Was pretty interesting, and I got introduced as "lau see meng (my Canto name) from Singapore" right before the message! It was really cool, like those visiting people in my own church who are from like, Australia or Philipines or Cambodia or whatever heh. I totally wasn't prepared for any, you know, emotional moments during their service, since I don't know their songs, but they sang All Heaven Declares in Chinese, and I just cried :$

It's really really..humbling, that I'm somewhere else, in another country, speaking another language, with a totally different culture from Singapore, and I still can..hear God's people praising him, worshipping him together with me. Like the starting was some uhm, random celebratory song about how we're all God's people but I felt no kinship with the song la, cos dunno the tune haha. Then after some build 'down' they started singing All Heav'n Declares in Chinese and I was like, wow! and yeah. People all over will worship the Lord our God in different tongues, but the meaning is still clear, we will worship together (: I gave up trying to catch the song with the Chinese words and just sang the English one from heart haha. Truly a humbling experience, and it seems like I'm unable to reproduce the feeling I had on Sun in words here :x

Yepp, so.. yeah. Moving on, every time I come to HK, my relatives will just spam me money, saying they dunno what to buy for me hahaha. Over the years, the real value of their money drops lol. Most give me a hundred HKD (some 200, some 300) still give the same amount now. Considering the effects of inflation here (which IS noticeable when I come back), my real disposable income falls. If I were to convert that into SGD (which I will not, in such an unfavourable position), the purchasing power in SGD in Singapore would fall even more (just two or three years ago, HKD4.4 : SGD 1, now it's HKD5.5 : SGD1) due to S'pore's appreciating stance and HK's currency being pegged to USD (which is currently, in the dumps).

Not that I'm complaining with the extra cash on hand, it's just that after awhile it kinda gets a little embarrassing especially when you know someone's not that well off etc. Also, this time round I rarely went out by myself, meaning that the person I go out with pays for my food and my shopping :\

Tallying up my purchases (and gifts) in HKD except when stated otherwise:
` 1TB EHDD :P $599
` 4GB thumbdrive $88
` New bag 119Yuan
` Souvinirs 61 + 50Y = $118
` Eggroll food thing $50
` Cycling shorts $129
` Design sticker for my hp $15
` Asics shoes $199
` Esprit cargo pants $129
` Esprit shirt $69
` Hat $49
` 2 pairs of low socks $15
` 6 pairs of ankle socks $20
` Cloth bag from my daddy (: --> my parents paid heh.
` Christian book + keychain$128
` Pig ear chewtoy $58 --> Qing biujeh gave it to meeee (:

` Slippers $39

Total: $1840 = SGD 335 prox. Ooh. I only paid for the slippers and a random cup of bubble tea.

All heav'n declares
The glory of the risen Lord
Who can compare
With the beauty of the Lord

Forever You will be
The Lamb upon the throne
I gladly bow my knee
And worship You alone

I will proclaim
The glory of the risen Lord
Who once was slain
To reconcile man to God

Beginning of the end, of the beginning.

2009-11-26T00:22:00.003+08:00

Hello

So..there's a Physics P1 on Monday but partying already (: Well, the A Levels is over (the bulk of it), especially Econs and GP. Tsh, papers were odd this year, and I have no idea how I'll fare, I guess I'm just hoping to get into uni with a course I want to take. And I suppose my life is only beginning from uni onwards, boy am I excited !

Haha oh yeah, now that the big break is really here, I actually am feeling a little xianned x) Nonetheless, this beats studying heh.

Alright, so upcoming stuff...Physics :P, cycling at Ubin and then prom (dropping by to take some photos (: ), archery outing yeahhh (maybe more like a in-ting at Ed's), and I'll find a day after to nightcycle. All in-between days I'll probably go range, get new wheels at skateshop, skate, watch stuff on comp. Nighttimes probably some DotA.

Just finished a game with Nat, and that's enough ownage for a day lol. Randomed LoA in the AI game with Muz, Lu and YY and owned quite abit, then pub with Nat and played on host's team and they pwnt ass haha.

Oh damn, I forgot about uni apps @@

Prelim sults.

2009-10-08T19:45:00.002+08:00

Hello

Heh, my God is an awesome God and he will reward your efforts. PCM GP BBBB and econs E, which was a little disappointing but I think I found what exactly went wrong which caused two of my three essays to be capped at L2 (max L2 at that, can't reach L3 ._.) but needs to qiong more case studies haha.

Let's go.

YF today

2009-09-19T22:34:00.004+08:00

Hello

Haha today for YF Auntie Waiying shared, and well, IDK, her messages are always really timely for me..

Like last time she talked about some bgr thing and I was well, just happened to be thinking quite abit on that issue etc la. Then this time she talked about..balancing life's priorities.

So..yeah. It's a good reminder for me to keep God first, really, like what my blog says, to keep him first now, and first in the future no matter what. She reminded us about saying yes to the big things before the small things, about spending time with God. God's still small voice is there, but how would you know if it's his? It's the same way how you would know it's your friend when you pick up the phone, and you know it because you have heard his/her voice many times, and spent alot of time together. Yeah and if I am unable to make time for God now, what makes me think that I am able to do it next time when I'm working or whatever.? Kinda reminded me to .. restart my devotion thing properly ba.

And, recently I've been feeling very burntout already. The week long of prelims and I feel so tired mentally and just sick of everything lor. She mentioned that the disciples, after ministering to the people, came back to Jesus and he said, come away with me and rest. Imagine that, haha. Come away with me and rest. He knows we cannot just keep going like a machine, we need rest; that's why got Sabbath! And that is why he also said, come to me all you weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. He will give us rest. I don't know but it really really really appealed to me at the moment, the resting. Yerps. She talked about her just going to the beach and sitting there for two hours, to..listen, to chillax, just sit there and think, and I was like, whoahhh...heaven x.x Hahaha, yeah, I need to do it soon, the studies and whatever really is making me feel so heavyladen. Oh and today my mom drove me past St. Andrews' Cathedral, and there was a banner outside too, in English and Chinese, Come to me all you are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Hahaha then I hear again during the message and yeah, was kinda..cool I suppose x)

One more thing. She mentioned about what can throw us off balance: obsession, temptation, failure and success. Her story was when she was in final year of uni, she went to her school's christian group's leader to say that 'I have this this this this this, and it's my final year, can I not plan fellowship and stuff?' and her leader was like, are you unable to trust in God? Which is kind of sigh, abit like what I'm doing. Putting off discipleship and mentoring, and..stuff. And now, I think..I am still unable to fully trust God, it's so..I find it rly hard cos' maybe like Auntie WY, I 'worship the work of my hands', I like doing things which make me successful, I like the feeling of doing something on my own, the satisfaction, accomplishment, the knowledge that I am capable. Sigh I need to change this in my life. I feel like .. I think J1 and maybe S4 I wasn't rly struggling with this, but now in J2 I'm snatching the reins from God 'No God, I want to do this my way, I want to do it like this so that I will be a successful person.' Maybe even 'God this is too important to me, I want to make sure with my own hands that it will go well.' .... ):

Oh boy. God halpz pl0x x.x nidz hlp sigh.

Heyyys

2009-09-13T19:38:00.005+08:00

Haha hello

It's sure been awhile oops. Well, I'm pretty much over the stuff that happened on the 9th, so I suppose you could say I'm back to my happy self (:

The month's been full of mugging and moar mugging. Planning to pick up speed by doing papers at night also..Prelims start tomorrow (kinda) so.. yepp. I'll be using this to apply for UCAS in December..

I think my brain's super shag now hahaha, I'm thinking in fragments of happenings this past month lol. Sentences are disjoint also. Mmm, today we gave Irvin a surprise party at Aranda and he was led blindfolded into the restaurant haha. I thought it was quite cute. We had a table of youths, and Fu and Jo joined us later after their triathlon in dress shirts hahaha. They came in and saw our polo tees/jeans (they wore jeans too la) and Fu was like 'haiyo! I alr changed then Jo was like nono cannot! Must wear proper shirt!, then I randomly grabbed anything and put on, then you guys also wear liddat!' and Jo was like sheepishly laughing hahaha. It was a buffet lunch and pretty high class stuff.

Oh, Fu was telling us about the triath (I think it's Tri Factor hahaha) and something like, he and Jo were the first few outta the water, then got pwnt in the cycling and running hahaha. Running or something, then Fu kena cramp, so he stopped to stretch, and this guy stopped to stretch next to him, and he was like 'cramp ah' 'lol ya' and all of us were like, lol! Your cramping buddy! Hahahaha, yupp x) Fu took 2.50 for the 1.5swim 40bike 10run, Jo took 3h heh, but aiyah, still damn pro for finishing lor.

Oh Daniel phailed bad hahahaha, he went to the buffet table and came across the soup plate, so he took that and was gonna put rice on it before a relative of the family pointed out that it was a soup plate. And he was superdamn maluated. Nat happened to be there with him, and he came back to tell the entire table hahahaha. Next thing we knew, Joseph came back with his soup plate piled full of rice, pasta, and other stuff and hahahaha (y)

Heh, and guys underestimate how a decent shirt can make them look; an intellectual and smart looking. Or maybe I'm just a suits/leather or metal strap watches/square specs/bookish look kinda girl :P

Yepp, since well, from now till A's I think I will only be blogging a coupla more posts. And I don't want to get distracted then thinking about my after A's todo list so I'll do it now (:

Things to do !
` Shave my head hahaha :x
` Go Hongkong for Christmas
` Travel in January with friends
` Train for SSS Duathlon on 14th Mar
` SHOOT!
` Possibly plan for the church youth camp
` Uni and scholarship apps :\
` Perhaps an internship somewhere..
` Watch all my wuxia TV serials
` Read XAJH and possibly the other books by Jin Yong

Sunday

2009-08-09T17:52:00.003+08:00

Hello

Well, today's National Day haha. Fireworks later tonight lor, that's about it. Met SH today and he came all the way from Yishun just to pass me the prelim papers he dug up, thanks alot (:

..Church in the morning, farewell party for Jo and Lixian at around lunchtime. It..made a few people cry heh. Show video, Pastor Roy spoke abit about finding a Christian community there and depending on God, Denise Eunice and Belle wrote a rap for Jo (something along the lines of Yo yo Jo, your name rhymes with yo and er..put down that thick book and listen to us yo haha), and they also rewrote Love Story for Lixian (hmm..think of us cos' we bring the warmth and love, we love you and hope you'll come back to visit us. Something like that)..Daniel wrote a song in camp for the church people in general, with a few he specified, will be on Facebook..Fu and Dan rewrote lyrics to Pinky and the Brain to Monsters in the Pool, also on FB.

And I kinda teared a little for Dan's song cos the first people he sang about were his sisters. "Even though they always irritate me but I'll still sing this song for them". The chorus was something like "Cos' he/she/they rock~, they rock my world." And the last stanza was we all have a friend in Jesus who died on the cross and he rocks our world haha. IDK it was good, and I guess the atmosphere in general. I really really envy the friendship..

On a side note, I'm having a..ambivalent?ish kinda feeling atm. Somewhere a mix between being confused, hopeful, and a disbelief that it might even be true, and ofc the dose of skepticism that maybe my brain is merging what I hope for with perceived reality.

...

Actually..

2009-07-29T19:26:00.002+08:00

Hello

It's quite lag for me to find out so late, but yes. Today I found out that due to the closure of SA field, every Wed, there's a bus from PP which leaves at 2.30 to ZH, and no bus back. And ... well, yes. It would have been catastrophic, not to mention pretty painful, for me if I were a J1 this year heh. And on the car ride home, God impressed upon my heart that..he's always here for us, he helps when we ask, he knows our innermost desires and what kind of a Father wouldn't try to fulfill those of his children's? I'm convinced he definitely would, but at his own timing.

And yes, it was more of a realisation that I prayed in S4 that I would have a decent CCA in JC, and I was already thinking of archery then, and ofcourse, prayed that CCA stuffs would go well and do well in comps and all that. So...yes, on my 20/20 hindsight I feel that God has really blessed me in that PP outdoor was changed from the old icky muddy field to the somewhat decent SA grass patch right when I joined, and even now, the closure doesn't affect me cos I'mma studying my ass off. Makes me feel kinda wow (: I'd just foam or er, pon every Wed trng if I had to travel to ZH to shoot outdoor x.x

:|

2009-07-28T20:49:00.003+08:00

Hello

Yes I have been studying veryveryhard! No time to blog haha. And also cos' I've been studying veryveryhard, no cool/funny happenings also, so no topics to blog about heh.

Anyway, just for memories' sake, DLT on Sunday, natnat told us a funny story haha. He and his friend on the bus, he got off, turned to wave to his friend and continued walking forward. He ended up ramming his face into the bus stop pole and the entire busload of people laughed hahahaha. He acted like he meant to walk into it anyway and pretended nothing happened and walked off la, but lol, freaking hilarious hahaha (:

So basically, this Sat I'm going to do NDP firstaid. I have no idea why my station is at Flyer, or why the other station is at Kallang Stadium (for what?!) but at least Flyer nearer to floating platform haha. Sunday Physics tuition makeup. Following Friday archery farewell, Sat only afternoon tuition heh, and Sunday's LX and J's farewell party before they fly to US/London. I'm going to miss seeing them in church :\ And I guess that will mark the end of my..inclination of sorts. And I'll miss suanning J about the height (or lack thereof) x)

The first week of September is the start of prelims! Pia four more months to a eight-month-freeeeeedommmm! Go Serene, c'mon !

That aside, I was thinking (sparked by an MSN convo) about the friends I have. Something along the lines of, can you really ever trust someone? Admittedly, I myself have let loose stuff which could be considered private, albeit not identifying the person, but telling stories..'my friend he's damn...yah lah, how can he do something like that...it's super wahlao lor' etc. And I have encountered friends who do that. Actually how about, >60% of the people I tell stuff to, the stuff gets passed around. Again, not necessarily named, but even something like 'oh, yeah, Serene told me she has a thing for this particular someone la, go ask her if you want to know.'

I guess I could say I understand why people do it, and yes I could respect you for not telling my stuff, but at the same time, you said I have stuff lol. It kinda defeats the purpose what. If the third dude comes to ask me 'ehhhh I heard this this this, who isit/what happened!' then what am I supposed to say? 'Uh I don't consider you close enough to share'? Plus if someone comes asking specifically for it, you tend to let it go unless it's something so superduper private (in which case, you probably wouldn't have told the first person). Sigh but okay, I do it too, lousy habit I'm trying to break. But I digress.

I was originally on the topic of my friends, and after shower time, I've concluded that .. well, I don't think I'm so into the BFFs forevar thing anymore. I like having close friends, a few close friends, but at the same time I guess I'm abit cautious of elevating one to especially close, though there are people whom I share more stuff with. Maybe what Jasmine said was right (or more like, Jasmine's mom who told her this lol). It's..stupid to have best friends when you don't need one. Cos' once you get busy or when everything takes a backseat and you don't spend as much time together or talk so much anymore, it feels like I've grown distant and most people would just let it be. I think relationships are comparative to a previous time. If I feel that you and I have talked more this month than last month, I'd say we've gotten closer, and vice versa. Growing distant..okay to me, it spoils the friendship some. 'Best friends' will drift apart after awhile, esp with other pressing priorities, and then..best friends no more. Better to have normal friends with a steady..amount of time invested in the rship. Logical, sad, but true.

So I've no best friend now. And it's times like these when I just feel that I don't have a special someone..everybody's hooking up and I sometimes feel like an idiot for putting so much emphasis on studies even though I know it's the right thing to do. Sigh. I feel so scrwdup now. I need God. And I need him to help me let my head guide my heart. Because my heart can be deceived.

Interschool

2009-07-18T12:42:00.002+08:00

Hello

Ah my fever's all gone already, but still got abit of cough so..still on medication heh. Besides this huge misunderstanding on Wednesday whereby I went all emo and bleag, nothing bad happened this week (:

So..yesterday was interschool! And I finished with team and indiv gold haha, just like how I started at Pesta last year (: It was really a good finish and I credit God for this, cos at the 5th end of the first round, I suddenly realised that my arrows not enough (I have 8, 3 spoilt nocks and 1 2-fletched arrow). The arrow still can shoot, but 3 spoilt nocks = gg. But still must shoot, so I picked the uh, least damaged one. I tried twice, couldn't click cos of this 1mm space between my nock and the string, pushed my clicker out, tried twice and still cannot. That was my fourth arrow, and I looked at the timer, left 80seconds and I just panicked. My mind blanked and well, it's a trivial thing I agree, but I was shaking and I don't ever recall being that scared before hahaha. Couldn't click, but anchored, then aim abit higher and released the arrows. Then ran to my case to get one last spare nock and asked Ken to change one for me lor. But I still carried the trauma lol, the last end I got stuck at 4th arrow also, and probably tensed up tts why I couldn't click la. But woo. Scaryyy.

Scores were 307 and 309, and the top three scores, me, Jen, ZW were 616, 615, 614 lol. Close fight indeed haha. I'm abit burnt, but now turn black already. My face is like a charcoal :\ K I be off for tuition now heh.

Fever

2009-07-12T22:00:00.003+08:00

Hello

Sigh, at least I'm over that last emo post. But fever like since Saturday :\ IDK what happened also, except that suddenly everyone is highfevering then recovering dem fast. Justine fever Friday, Natnat fever Friday too..then Shiyuan is highfevering now. Mine's just mild la, 38deg, but still can't go to school. It's a horrible feeling, my stomach is dem hungry but I don't feel like eating cos got the feeling that I'm going to puke everything out (which I haven't). Went doctor's today and got med, and 2 days MC haha. I think I'll go to school on Tuesday though, it's kinda like tutorial day. We'll see (:

My Loneliness Ghost

2009-07-04T20:08:00.002+08:00

Let me tell you a story of my loneliness ghost. He is always here with me, also feeling down and alone. I think we all have ours, just floating nearby. He'll come to your call, should you notice him, which we..I normally do when my mind is blank. I subtly call, and he comes, places himself in my heart, albeit at the most inappropriate of times. I also call, reluctantly, when a trigger event occurs: make a guess what type. But, he is always here, always here. And we're not so alone when we're together, but yet so alone when we are.

Often I think about why, or what if. No answer comes, and I conclude that it is a time wasting activity only the weak indulge in. If I cannot reconcile my heart and my head, my heart will forever wonder why and supply a vast array of traitorous reasons, which leads back to my calling for my ghostie. It is a continual cycle until.

Yay

2009-07-03T19:35:00.004+08:00

Hello

It's been an eventful week and a half heh. Finished my CTs already so I'm freefreefree :D I rewatched some oldskool Disney films like Mulan 1 and 2, Little Mermaid 1 2 3, Beauty and the Beast :P And uh, classics like Storm Riders (aka Feng Yun: Xiong Ba Tian Xia), and downloading other wuxia serials/movies. And I shot at TB the entire day today! -sighs in contentment-

Enjoy life now Serene, soon there won't be 'nemore time..

Tuesday!

2009-06-23T23:15:00.003+08:00

Hello

Ah, tomorrow's the mock Chem, so I'll hafta be in school by 9 :\ Sigh. And no extension of school holidays yay. Anyway, today was a pretty good day (:

Ate KFC porridge for breakfast, and added too much pepper so it became like damn hot x.x then studied in the range till like 2 before packeting lunch back to the range to eat hahaha. I was supposed to finish Math in the morning but I did till 2 and still not finished argh. Nemai, I went onto Chem cos tmrw's mock Chem mah. (And subsequently went back to Math haha)

So I was doing work and JH came in and we were like haiiiii x) and he took his bow and whatevers. Then was struggling to solve this stupid integration question when suddenly Amin went 'TY' and I was like rufrickingsrs and turned around to look and there he was smsing lol. JH and Amin both got dem excited la (turfz) and I got damn embarrassed hahaha.

Then later on Ken Kim came and Kim was asking why Amin so happy/giggly and a random bomb question 'why? Someone you like is here isit?' Wlao, she's damn quick leh, and I was like whoah! And Amin also but Kim didn't geddit. She was like huh huh, only like later later later laterrrr on then she went 'oh, I know why you guys so happy already. But why is Amin happier and like, more giggly? Shouldn't it be Serene?' which was lol hahaha. Apparently they had some SSC stuff and got tonnes of national archers all come in to shoot cos' maybe got evaluation or spotcheck or whatever. We left for KFC.

Later on I went back to the range to see if I knew anyone else lor, met Benson and he was like 'oh er, not shooting?' I said no.. and the next question he asked me was 'are you studying?' Hahahaha, the world knows me as a mugger now la lol! So just like say hi, then nolah nolah, I'm not shooting, all the national archers here I come and throw face, shoot what lol. But yeah, today's a good day, and I'll be sleeping now x)

End of the week..

2009-06-20T22:25:00.003+08:00

Hello

Wah x.x Saturday already. One more week till CTs start I hope! I don't want them to extend the study break! Cos' one extra week won't make that much of a difference to me, and it collapses my 'after CT period' by a week. Anyway CTs not impt what ._. A's then impt.

So..Yeah I wanted to blog haha. And this marks the end of my super insane one and a half weeks where I had Econs tuition every Mon Wed 9-11, then Physics Wed-Fri, Mon-Fri 12-2pm, and Econs on Sats from 2-4pm. Not to mention my own Physics tuition with Kevmund x.x I remember Monday was horrifying where I had three tuitions almost in a row.

Anyway, watched Fireproof again at the range with Amin and Barbie haha, didn't cry, but I still like the movie alot alot haha (:

Yerps, and aiyah, I'm going crazy these few days, deviated from like, the standard weirdness but last night's dream takes the cake. I dreamt that I was dating some guy, and cos' he's pretty wellknown in his circle, I kept getting .. 'labelled' as so-and-so's girlfriend, which is exactly what I don't want in JC, or in life I guess for that matter. It's so..I mean, it's different if I'm so-and-so's wife, cos that's who I'm married to and will spend the rest of my life with. But it's so annoying that I get labelled as a possession and not as a person I guess. I'm okay with nouns attached to my name to differentiate me, like Serene the archer, Serene that girl who plays DotA (apparently some guys whom I don't know in RI know me by that lol), or Serene who whatever lahh. Just don't label me as Chris' girlfriend rawr.

On a separate note, look who's here! Whoah, super imbal hahaha, and I know him leh! I feel proud for knowing people like that lol. And people like Yongjin. Heh. Okay I'mma sleep soon (:

Fireproof

2009-06-16T23:34:00.002+08:00

Hello

Wa I just finished rewatching Fireproof and, as expected, cried alot lol. Rewatching it I catch the small details that I didn't catch the first time..like the 'stuff' on the table, there was a DVD cover 'Facing The Giants' hahaha. And..supposedly Caleb Holt had 24k in his bank account to buy his boat (at the beginning), later on he paid for his mom-in-law's wheelchair and everything, the bill was 24,300 and the 300 was from the other guy, means Caleb took out his savings lor. And I only caught on that Caleb was addicted to porn when there was a popup on his puter screen, which was pretty late in the show, like >Day20 already, but there were alot of hints earlier on that Catherine 'couldn't compete' and 'trash on the internet' and so on.

Oh but I caught alot of inconsistencies also haha, like how he wasn't burnt or that dirty in the fire but came to the hospital abit reddish and hella dirty, how his hand/arm healed so fast, and how the doctor told him not to put on his ring but he defiantly went 'oh, this hand will have to heal with my ring on' then the next scene he was wearing a watch also, goodjob. Anybody with basic FAid would know to remove any constrictions for burns lol. Oh and during gym sessions, Caleb just slams the weights down while doing his reps lol, I just cringe at it x)

But anyway, aiyah, was bawling like some kid, used a heckload of tissue lol. And well..it's true that fireproofing your marriage (or in my context, friendships) doesn't mean the fire will not come, it just means that your relationship can withstand it when it comes.

I wouldn't say I had a realisation, but it does remind me about some stuff. You cannot love unless you have been loved. You cannot love unless you know how Christ loved us and died for us; that is love, that you would die for a dude even though he's your enemy. It's still so..incomprehensible to me.

Next, something that was in The Love Dare, if you don't invest time getting to know the person, how can he/she be of value to you? We all do it instinctively I guess, I know I do it. I'd actively seek the person out to chat, to do stuff together, to spend time, and this is how strong friendships form. So why don't I do it for God? And the context was uh, if you spend time learning about his likes and dislikes and all that, before marriage (the term used was 'study him'), it's like a high school degree, but after marrying must continue studying and learning about him to get a college degree, masters' and a doctors'. Yes, lifelong process, there's no stopping point.

And another thing. It's more of a reminder I guess. That your heart can be deceived, so do not always 'follow your heart'. You need to lead your heart, not let your heart lead you. Things that the world teaches us, 'love is all about feelings', 'we like each other, so we get together yay.' that kinda stuff. It sounds kinda cliched, but the marriage vow says 'for better or for worse' and it's not only worse like situations worse (no house/no car/working like a dog to make ends meet) but also when say, your partner gets a stroke or something.

Alright, you fall in love with the person (love the flaws and the person as a whole etc.) but what are you really loving? I'd say the personality of the person right, what makes him him. Which basically means that when his personality changes, your feelings'd probably change too? How does love work then? So if my partner gets a stroke and can't talk/move/w/e is not, in essence, 'him' anymore, my feelings change and I don't love him anymore? I'm rambling. Okay, but I think that love is a decision that you make, to stick by this guy, to love him however whatever all the time. I'd say love is not based on feelings or instinct or chemistry, but something that you process, that is rational and logical.

Which kind of reminds me back in S1 when I was young and noob and I asked someone 'why exactly do you like me?' and he said..'feelings. My heart says I like you lor.' and I thought how romantic that was haha..

I'm waiting on You Lord, and I am hopeful.
The wait is painful, but patiently I will wait.
I'll be running the race, even while I wait.

Studyyyyy

2009-06-11T22:17:00.002+08:00

Hello

Hahaha it's been another week, and I'm like having Econs tuition every Mon Wed Sat, and Physics 10th-19th, 8 weekdays..and I need to schedule my Phy/Math tuition with Kevmund soon haha.

Well, I've (somewhat) completed my Math June Rev Ex, many questions to ask cos I got stuck on alot of questions. Just started looking through G.Lee's Econs booklets on macroecons. Wondering if I should just smoke through micro since it's just one question haha. I still don't write fast enough..

What else, I'm doing the archery farewell powerpoint thing. Since it's been like two weeks into the holidays, I should uh, finish Physics and Math by 16th or 17th June, then a week for Chem and mocktest on 24th, and last four five days for some Econs I think.

I hope I finish (:

Oh, and NUS Indoor's this Sat/Sun. I'd miss Barbie's event in its entirety cos of my tuition, so go for lame la. I'll support on Sun though (: Just..need to find my way somehow, to NUS haha.

Sporez

2009-06-06T00:05:00.002+08:00

Hello

I'm back in Spore haha. HK trip been good while it lasted, now's back to work!

Unpacked everything already..forgot that yiyi also gave me a wallet haha. Lol and I really like my new pair of slippers :P Hmm, today..

HKD 178 - snacks for archers (which I clean forgot about! Ahhhh~)
HKD 49 - basketball singlet for my bro's birthday
HKD 6 - three hairties!
HKD 38 - ring
HKD 30 - Justine's skull necklace lol
SGD 75.35 - dinner treat
- SGD 15 from YW and Amin
SGD 15.20 - alcoholic drinks from DFS

So..Assuming 1:5 conversion rate, I spent SGD$135.55 today. Means a 5day trip cost me $266.35 :X I can save an average of $50-70 a month lol, so..3months scrimp 'n' save time!

I wanna support Barbie for NUS Indoor on 13th, and Dlu, Alvin, JW on 14th (: Yay, I'm excited haha (: Tomorrow's the real deal for mugging !

HK

2009-06-04T21:45:00.005+08:00

Hello

Wao! It's been four days already, superfast. Every night spend too much time DotA/MSN, no time to blog haha. It's been super good, and I'll do a summary. Tuesday I went to Shatin to shop, then eat Chinese food with popo and yiyi for dinner. Wednesday I went to Mongkok to eat Japanese food with kaomo and I walked Langham Place, went back to yuenlong, and shopped somemore around the area. Today I went out with dai guma and my two biujehs, went APM in guntong to eat lunch with my daddy during his lunchbreak haha. Then shopped that mall, didn't find anything, went to Mongkok, back to Langham Place, and bought tonnes of stuff, then back to yuenlong to eat good food (:

Okay, inventory check now. Tuesday I bought..I didn't buy anything, hahaha.

Wednesday
HKD 399 - LCS hoodie thing
HKD 6 - HK streetfood
HKD 70 - 2 Baleno teeshirts
HKD 130 - 2 puter mice
- HKD 200 from popo and yiyi.

Total: HKD 405 spent.

Thursday
HKD 425 - NB sports shoes
HKD 160 - Adidas slippers for bro
HKD 100 - 8 pairs of socks O:
HKD 299 - a pair of heels
- HKD 100 cos' dai guma insisted on the..socks ._.
- HKD 160 dai guma's birthday present for bro
- HKD 225 from dai guma for shoes
- HKD 50 from my cousin for heels
- HKD 200 from gujeh

Total: HKD 249 spent.

Plus 2 handbags, a bracelet, a necklace, snacks from kaomo.

Tomorrow, I will spend more on KFC, and try to find a bag for my bro's birthday present (from me to him), and a pair of jeans for me, if possible. [OH AND AS AMIN SO KINDLY REMINDED ME, FOOD FOR ARCHERS :D] All before 12.30pm, gl to me xD

Not to forget, a bottle of wine for myself at Singapore's DFS (: and I'll attempt to find some Californian redwine for YW, his budget's SGD50 hee.

HK..

2009-06-01T23:58:00.002+08:00

Hello

Okay not so emo now. Had some pure insanity jnow on the plane and the bus ride here to my auntie's house, but it's not here 'nemore after a game of DotA. I'm good O: now to hope it doesn't come back anytime within this month yerps.

Well, I'm off to sleep now. I'd be out the entire day tomorrow (and the day after, and the day after, and the day after too.)

Damn am I missing Singapore right about now :\

Ohwells.

2009-06-01T12:18:00.006+08:00

Hello

Sigh random (or maybe not so random) bout of emoness..Sometimes I feel quite outcasted, not in the nobody-wants-to-be-my-friend way, but everyone seems to think a set way, and I think differently. Something like nobody seems to share my viewpoint..and stuff. It's a general thing, not referring to any particular incident la. And I can't help but feel that society's so..superficial about things, that people who don't look a certain way, act a certain way, fit into a certain gender stereotype, they automatically become .. IDK how to say it, non-needed. I guess that's what hurts, even though it's just a trivial matter like finding out that guys whom I thought were different are afterall, the same through and through.

And of course, in society there're always the winners, and there will be losers to cushion the bottom.

I should be fine after a good book.

NJC Invitational 2009

2009-05-30T20:31:00.003+08:00

Hello

Haha NJC Invitational today, I must say, organisation was (y) extremely good heh. Ohwells, Idk, maybe I'm just suck and Pesta last year was a tyco shot :\ This shoot was damn bad la, dropped 30points for 50m, and almost 40points for 30m. Like, I got 235 for 30m and last week I got 241 for 50m ohmygoodness x.x whatthehell, I'm sure my 30m lower score than last week's 50 la frickit. So drop almost 70points from my 512 last week lor, bleagz. I think I got placed 16th outta 21 or something, I can't really recall..

Anyway, I'm feeling quite peaceful about it now, as compared to last week after Sembawang Open. And yealah, maybe this IS my true standard for archery so..yupp. Maybe it's the stress of doing both studies and shooting ba, now I feel like it's all over and I can actually concentrate on mugging for CTs heh.

Alright, today's competition was a total blast haha. Maybe cos I talked to TY and TH, saw Verene from NJ, learnt that TBAC guy's name (Felix; shot together at TB outdoor before), said hi to TN who probably thought I was nutters hahaha.

We finished our morning events, went to eat at Macs at Fajar. Lol Barbie and I bought a bottle of Hooper's Hooch, blackcurrant with 5% alc inside, which was pathetic tbqh. But I was already happy before that, + the drink which tasted like alcoholic Ribena made me even happier. Went back to Zhenghua and at the gate area there, we met Ken and lamed around with videos and stuff, which will be on Facebook soon hahaha. Then cos' I was laughing so hard I didn't see TY and DL walk past, and TY whacked me with his shoelace bowsling lol, at first I only felt something at my arm then I realised what happened and I was like HI! before jawdropping in disbelief. I had to consciously convince myself that it really happened cos..it seems so unlike him, but then again I wouldn't know x)

Amin was like 'ah! I was waiting for something big to happen! (so he did see TY walking towards us) like maybe you'd go AHHHHHHHH HAIIIIIIIII =D =D =D -insert retarded pose-' Michy and I saw it and we were laughing nonstop, but Amin wouldn't do it again for the camera ):

I met TH also, same place. Asked him how, he say 'screw up la, 349, cui ah!' and I thought maybe got some guy 350 or something mah. I checked board and was like KLOR SCRUP GET FIRST for first round lor, zhai pls. So yealah, TY and TH kept walking past us cos' their stuff at one end and their boards at the other heh.

So Kevin and Yanwei and Muzmuz got into IKO! Top 8 per category. Kev got 7th, and he was against the China guy from PPCC (he's quite pro de, got 1st for Recurve Intermediate). First two arrows both 10 then we were all pretty excited then Kev missed his third arrow X.X Wah it was damn bad, cos IKO is 4 ends of 3 arrows each, so one arrow the point weightage is damn high lah. And yeah, he just buaysong after that and shot with like, no heart lor :\ I felt quite sad for him la, abit..wasted ):

After two ends of Kevin's IKO, I went to watch Muz/Yanwei fight it out. They were up against each other 4th and 5th position for Indiv Qualifiers so the two of them versus for a spot in the quarterfinals luh. Klah, another reason was that TH was shooting at the board beside them and I wanted to watch his imbal form x) They shot 3rd end then I was like 'ehy? TH? How come you soloing? Walkover ah?' and he was like 'yeah, the other guy didn't come' and all of us were like 'WHOAHHH must be see he against TH, then was like, aiyah don't waste time, sure tio owned then pack bow go home alr' lol! And we checked the scoreboard for Indiv Qualifiers, the guy who was in 8th position (who's up against TH for IKO) got like 603 against TH's 695 hahaha. Ownage lor, srsly.

And at the beginning Muz and YW were like, ahhh whoever wins this go next round and get raped by TH cos' the winner was up against TH's board's winner which was a walkover. And I asked TH why he was shooting and he was like 'oh, sighting mah -grins with dimples- :D' haha. Insane, his stabiliser doesn't even move at all while aiming lor, superpro :O

YW won Muz and he was up against TH. What's left of the team came and sat at the gravel area watching YW TH shoot but not expecting much lah. But I think we did pressure TH cos' yeah, we had around ten people 'supporting' YW, who put up an extremely good fight (: Haha, welldone! But yerps, Frankie came over and he saw our support and called for the other TBAC archers to support TH cos nobody support so poor thing lol.

And they were tied after three ends leh, it was quite heartstopping and Amin was all omg about the fact that YW was tying with TH, t3h imbal national archer haha. Then last end YW 10 10 9, TH 10 10 10, xiahlah, only lost by a point lor. Damn close. Then TH put down his bow and can see relief on his face. Daniel, another compounder, came and asked Ken 'wah this one yours ah, so qiang!' And..TH was telling us how when he raised his bow for the last end his hands were shaking hahaha. Super pressure lol x)

YW and another girl compounder fighting for Bronze, YW won. TH and Daniel fought for gold, they agreed to tie it to do a last arrow shootout. Meaning like, if both scores tie, they'll shoot one arrow each to decide outcome, and if same score, then see which closer to X. Super exciting, but on the last arrow, Daniel supposed to shoot a 10 but shot 9, so TH won and he did this slow-mo raise-bow-victory thing lol. Looks like some Olympic winner that kinda scene hahaha.

Lol that was alot of detail. It was a good day methinks (:

Last Week of School!

2009-05-27T18:56:00.004+08:00

Hello

Haha it's the last week of school already! Goodness, so fast! I'm just catching up with YJ on MSN, it's been a while since I spoke with the imba king lol. Xian lah, he says if we went for Kasetsart, girls' team is confirm win medal, plus looks damn good on resume ("Represented Singapore in Thailand competition and won team gold") wahhh omg x) Hahaha alright, maybe next year I join la :P Means must train hard right after A's luh !

So..today was GP 1 and 2, I kinda fell asleep for 1, and I think I wrote the wrong question. I should have done much better on the question about foreign aid than organ trading la x.x Sigh nevermind. At least I didn't fall asleep for P2 hahaha. So..here I am slacking at home, thinking about schoolwork (again). Agh I keep feeling like there's not enough time and I'm starting to panic. Ahhh, Lord give me the peace that only You can give..

Coming Sat's the NJC Invitational Shoot. It might be my final competition in the year if my mom disallows me from shooting InterJC, which I stand a good chance I think. InterJC, I don't have many competitors; NJ closing down their Archery club after this shoot, Hwachong got 2 national archers, one of whom isn't going to be in Singapore then, and the rest are not as imba as the Poly people (i.e. no TP competitors la). So..yerps, I'll try to convince my mommy to let me shoot this, on the condition that I study wholeheartedly for CTs in June and train for competition from CT week onwards (:

Yerps, and Sunday's archery handover at Eded's house in the faraway lands of Bukit Batok. I'll see if I can get a movie date with Barbie right before that and watch movie then go haha. I'll be flying to HK by myself on Monday afternoon 4pm, and I'm having some ambivalent feelings about this: both excited and apprehensive. My mom's really letting go of me haha, and sometimes I still feel so small in this world x)

So..I'll be there from Monday till Friday (flight back at 4pm, I should touchdown at around 7). I need to buy sportsshoes from HK, find my maternal grandma, paternal grandparents, my auntie, and my dad to eat lunch (or dinner, if they're working) on my own, on separate days! Woo, I'mma try my hand at HK transport lol, I hope I don't die or get lost and get shipped to some island off mainland hahaha.

My mom says it's a time for me to unwind before coming back and pia-ing for CTs. I was going to bring work there to do in the afternoons cos I originally thought I just gotta have dinner with relatives but no. Lol. Ohwells, my mom's giving me money to spend, I'll probably look around shops for presents for my relatives la. And buy HK desserts. And HK streetfood. Maybe clothes? Haha. Please pray for my safety yes (: I'm bringing my notebook there, so I'm still contactable by Singaporeans! I think I'll get homesick; thinking about it now I'm homesick o.O Lol. K dinner time now, bai!

[insert] P.S. I think I'll go on Garena and play DotA with HK pipo! Hahaha :D

Real Competition Day

2009-05-24T19:34:00.004+08:00

Hello

Finally got to shoot today yay! Score was gross la omg, 241 for 50m and 271 for 30m x.x Coach was like, ehy? Why 271? I was expecting some 300plus from you lei! )':

We won team gold lor, not much kick since there were 16 girls and three girls' teams (all three are RJ de ._.) Indiv I got 6th, I left for tuition before prize presentation/results so..sigh. Suxx0rs :\

Everyone shot below average la sigh. The guys are liddat, girls also liddat, TY also, whut 314 and 300 for two rounds (which is dem low la), I asked TH how he did and he also scrup =|

Anyway, here are two insane tanline photos lol.

Rushed off for tuition and missed results and prize presentation lol. At least team gold la. Heh.

Oh the field was really wet from yesterday's heavy thunderstorm. After we set up, a few of us (Kevin JW me) didn't need to fletch (cos' all our fletches imbal). They called for archers to help move the boards from 30m to 50m, the three of us gamely took it on and trudged to the next board (which was #18) and 10m away from board it was just swampy paradise~ Our shoes submerged, socks all wet everything alr, and we haven't even started sighting rawr! Dem gross la, squishsquish all the way..but later on like on the first sighting end, we just trampled through to retrieve cos' all wet alr x) The other girls were like squealing and trying not to get wet, which is actly pointless because later confirmconfirm will get wet la pls. Shoot-retrieve how many times xiah, later accidentally step into puddle lol.

So that's about it lah today, tough on my skin, I look quite..imbal really, mother red x)

Long Post Ahead!

2009-05-23T22:08:00.004+08:00

Hello

Hahaha, today was a great day! I mean, has its downs, but I think it was good. Most probably because it ended off good lah, haha. So I'll start with this morning!

Woke up feeling all ready for my SAC Open at 9am (: Haha, used the puter a lil' and came across this link on Facebook. It's about how Christians can show love to homosexuals. I thought he made an extremely good argument. Jesus didn't condemn sinners, he loved us first and foremost (before judging in the End of Days with the holy powah of God). But really, he showed love FIRST, he didn't condemn us and go like "ye have all sinned and shalt perish ... by the holy powah of God.' :X But ahhh my brain isn't working right now, read the blogpost, I think it's extremely extremely enlightening from his point of view. I used to think I was pretty liberal (or maybe my church's more conservative) for believing in separation of church and state, therefore I did support the repealing of Penal Code 377A because I think gays should have their own rights and live their own lives. But this gives the story a new twist yerps. READ IT NAO!

Okay and that was before SAC Open heh. Went to school and took the chartered bus there. Waited 'bout an hour for registration, set up our bows, got our tags (Anna wrote 'Hello Serene (:' on the back of my tag lol! Cos' she was doing the tag writing haha), did jacks and stretches, all ready to shoot. Then we realised three dark clouds converging on top of our field, from three different directions! Waturf! Sigh, they even finished the morning category already, people mostly packed up and leaving, then the thunderstorm started. It was quite xian I guess, cos the most of the girls ran in first, and some guys and Justine and me brought all the bows in, so we got a bit wet (cos it's was still drizzly at first). Parked the bows around the front of the tent.

Then did we realise our cases which were in the shade jnow are in the rain right now. See there was no space in the tent, so we stacked our cases ontop of one another, and the bags ontop, in the shade of the tent, which was at an angle, since the sun was 12pm sun (which is slightly off centre, if you do realise). The rain came down straight and the tent neh block la. Andrew Kersh tanked the downpour to push our cases in and some of the girls had brollys where we put on top of the bags (ontop of the cases) but all our bags were soaked through cos rain too heavy.

The wind was blowing from behind, and Andrew JW YW me were basically taking the brunt of the massive winds and heavy rains. JW was really nice; I think it's his nature, really, he was like 'ah, come come stand here -gestures to front of him- I block with my back for you' and I just stood in his 'shadow' kinda. I still took wind and rain, but JW took most of it la so.. (:

Then slowly the water came flooding in, I didn't realise until the water was up to the rubber bits at the bottom of the shoes? Like about 1cm deep alr, then I was like ahhhh holyshit, our bowcases also drowning! I changed to slippers when I realised that my socks and shoes were pretty much thoroughly wet and I was flipflopping around in the mud lol. Andrew and JW's shoes just submerged. Since it was just our shoes so I told the rest to move in somemore and we tank the flood la. Put some bowcases on chairs, tried to find chairs to sit on to slack, talked abit, wincing at loud thunder sounds, then announcement that our event postponed to tomorrow morning 8am, IKO TKO cancelled. So...we started packing.

Insane. Basically we set up a bow packing station on the other bowcases (rest your open bow case there, and pack bow), then we set up another one on my forearms lol. We see the nearest bow, call the person to squeeze front and start packing. I'll find the bowcase in which all are basically muddy, grassy, buggy, in pools of water, and open it up on my arms as support underneath so the person can pack everything inside, zip and put at the other side or wherever. Lol I keep asking them when opening the case, not to smash my face in cos' SORRY LOR my torso damn short ): Other guys helped with the cases la, so it was good. The rest of the team helped to unstring bows, unscrew stabilisers and all that, so that was really pretty not bad yerps (: Agh, but I was quite pissed with people not moving to help la, always same people helping it's damn xian, so I kinda shouted abit :X Sigh. I just did a DLT meeting today on 'What God is trying to tell me when I have conflicts' and I will talk more about my use of tone later on.

We packed alllll our bows with drowned cases (most had ponds inside their cases). I was all wet by then and JW lent me his shirt cos he brought two! And I (inwardly) was like thankx fer saving my dignity x.x Agh.

OTW out I met TY all drenched also hahaha. I was with Jen so I just stopped to say hi, asked what cat he shooting (which he very humorously replied Under 12 -grins with dimples- :P) and abit of smalltalk and cya tmrw lor. And right after I ended the convo cos TY had a phonecall coming in, Jen was like 'wah, veh bright.' and I went scroo you! And Amin behind with Barbie made some 'whoah' sound lol. I pointed my fourth finger at him la, too far to shout haha.

Went to the CC and changed into JW's ultra big shirt lol. Found Anna and we hughug and people stared weirdly hahaha. Went to the small snackshop place and bought two steaming siewmais :D Met TH inside and made small talk, confirmed that he's shooting Compound Open with Muzmuz and YW (gg them! Hahaha) and tompang the TP bus back to TP where my mom picked me up from.

Reached home, laid out all my equip on the living room floor and went to bathe. Quickly packed all my nonsense and qionged for DLT meeting in church basically.

And today's session was on conflicts and how they help build your character! Haha that's such an interesting topic lor, we're bound to encounter conflicts in our lives so I thought this gave a reasonable biblical response to dealing with conflicts/anger. First thing that struck me, In your anger do not sin; do not let the sun go down while you are angry. These verses (y) seriously. Later on, do not give the devil a foothold in your life. The whole gist of it is to not sin when you are angry (for it is an emotion and inevitable), and cool down fast enough so as not to give the devil a foothold. Here the resolution process not only involves cooling down but a proactive measure taken to resolve the conflict. Not being angry anymore means a positive action taken on it (solve problem).

Being angry can make you do things you would not, probably something like making it easier to sin. So we must watch ourselves, have self control, commit the anger to God that we may not sin. How many times have we said things we do not mean, done things we should not have in the 'heat of the moment'? It's a lousy excuse to me. What you have said and done is not so easily taken back by a word of apology or buying presents maybe, or whatever way the person makes it up to you. It's still there, just that you choose to forgive and not remember his past transgressions. And as you do unto others, our Father in heaven shall do unto us.

Next bit, do not let unwholesome words come out from your mouth. I have blogged about this before, this has been plaguing me for quite awhile agh. I say stuff with sarcasm, or put people down, or make mean jokes, or say things that really might destroy someone else's self esteem, and all these is not right! Please pray for me regarding this :\

So, another question on what I think God is trying to teach me about conflicts/how I speak to my friends, and I think that well, my tone of voice isn't good sometimes. Like I used to patronise my mom alot, make patronising noises in that tone of voice when she nags. I never realised how..lousy it sounds until I heard my bro doing it too. Wah the first time I heard it in the car I was like, omg do I sound like that too? I felt like slapping him la my goodness x.x So I think yeah, sometimes my tone of voice is condescending/demeaning without it meaning to be, which is damn bad since like, I don't even realise I'm doing it!

Alright, I'm happy today cos' well, it's DLT meeting and I enjoy exchanging views with the guys who delve into technicalities/word usage/theological discussions (: t'was damn funny cos Natnat leading today, and he was gonna arrow me to answer a question. But he did it in a stare at me way. See, he looks at me, I look up and we lock eyes for a bit. He points to his book and I flicked my head in a general rightward direction. He points again and smirks, and I flick my head again (in case you don't know what I mean, it's like gesturing with my head 'GO ARROW SOMEONE ELSE') and we did this another time. The entire group was quiet all this while, and Jo suddenly talked to me, 'I'm sorry, was that a shared moment I interrupted?' And he cracked up hahahahaha, it was damn funny, he keeps suanning his own bro about me/viceversa lor! Yeah super lol.

K tmrw morning comp! I'mma sleep nao, g'nights!

The Supposed Revision Starts..

2009-05-17T21:38:00.004+08:00

Hello

Lol today's the first day of my "schedule", and I have done some Chem (: 'sbeen a pretty uneventful week really..Anyway, I took some personality quiz thing and lol@results!

Your view on yourself: You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
[This I do not know, but I think I'm a both-side listener x)]

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
[Smart yes, determined yes. They forgot to mention grounded (:]

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
[Friends first, being a Christian second, no excuses for skipping these two..'conditions' for a relationship.]

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
[Either straightforward or insensitive, sigh. Choices, choices.]

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
[Instinct-follower! I do best when I have an interest (:]

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
[No passion, no drive, no life.]

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
[How apt. Maybe that's why I usually prefer serving others than the other way around; something like, if they abandon you, I won't actually be devastated or unable to continue with my life. Possibly a fear of overdependence.]

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
[Oh, my heart and head conflict many a-time, but I try to use prayer to make up my mind.]

Goodness. Where did that last bit come from x) Nonetheless, Uncle Jacob shared this yesterday for YF (I think). He said, prayer is you talking to God, reading God's word is God talking to you. You need both ways to make an effective communication what. It's an exchange, not a one-way rant, like, on this blog or wherever. So uh, I guess I should really work on the latter.

Oh and I did share a spiritual issue with my DLT group today, one that I'm facing now. It's about taming my tongue. Like okay, I don't use vulgarities in church or online or SMS, but I do say them out loud sometimes which is rly dem bad la. And it's almost always followed by an 'ah crap, that wasn't meant to come out.' So..yeah, I'm working on this, pray for me!

TGIF I think.

2009-05-08T23:45:00.000+08:00

Hello

Well, it's the end of week 7 already, so fast. Haha today's highlight was probably shooting at the TBAC field behind TBCC. Excellent stuff (y) :D Went PPCC first to take bowcase, met JH shooting there (:

And at TB, zzz in a rush then forgot to take photo ): And I don't think there'll be a 'next time' ba. It's far and out of the way, plus it's so paiseh for this bunch of kids to 'keep visiting' lol. Cos' it's pretty exclusive; everybody knows everybody so it's hella obvious when there're new faces around.

Kevin Edmund and I reached TBCC and moodled around hahaha. Din know where the field was la, then called TY, asked the receptionist and everything. Climbed some super imba stairs to reach the field lor (dem high up) and Kevkev was very nice! He carried my case up x) Damn, I really need to master the power of levitation.

We reached and met Mr. Loke who was just about to pack up haha. And some other guy whom Kev knows from PPCC range cos Muz knocked his bow down the other time ._. oh, and we kinda made 'friends' with Frankie who came later, and he's the caretaker dude for the range! Mr. Ali also came, TY TH drove here with drinks and offered us some =D Hmm..we shot the 50m boards! The target they use isn't paper, it's spraypaint the back of those normal banners we use at PP indoor range lol, then pin there lah. It really doesn't tear when you retrieve arrows, super cool xD Oh, since mine and Ed's are Plats, we made bigger holes in the target face, and I made alot of big holes in the white and black rings :X All the holes in the yellow red are small small, cfm X10s haha.

So..we started shooting about 3.30 (: The place is damn ulu, no drinks to buy or snacks to chomp, just shoot shoot shoot only x) No distractions cos' left is Blangah Rise P. School (which is all quiet already), right side's some forest, behind the tent is HDB flats and behind the boards is uh..the steep slope down lol. Nonetheless, it's very comfortable shooting there la, alot of greenery and stuff. Sun's not glaring at you from the target boards like..it moves from East to West right, which happens to be from your back to the front. We shoot late afternoon, sun directly in front of us, but it doesn't glare per se, since we turn heads towards target boards; just turn abit chaota only. I think I got a shade darker today x)

Lol when we resting we just watch TH shoot compound, cos TY meddling with his bow half the time heh. But still, both of them king xiah, their form super nice to watch also! Hold at fulldraw is no problem, just happily aim. The tip of the stabiliser is where you can see alot of movement from well, weak bow arm/cannot hold steady etc. cos' the shakeshake gets amplified and on both their bows is DON'T HAVE ONE LA OMG D: Haha so yeah, see their 70m grouping is pwn! Ylw, ylw, ylw, red, red de lor (:

Anyway, today was a good day, if not a great day (: Finally get to see TB field for myself, and I conclude it's an awesome place.

Weekend

2009-05-03T22:53:00.002+08:00

Hello

Wow, it's been awhile. Always too busy, haha. Anyway, birthday Thursday, I went home early and napped on the couch :D Haha. Loads of birthday wishes came, so it was notbad (: Friday was a holiday and I went for the first 2/3 of a 9h Econs essay writing workshop at LL conducted by an extremely good tutor. After 6h of madness, and 3 more on Saturday morning, I was so inspired that I went to the range to study and wrote my very first 'extra piece' of essay for Mrs. L to mark hahaha. What they taught was how exactly to structure the essay because first, we have 45min to write a 4page essay, and second, the Cambridge marker has 5minutes to mark my three-essay script of 12 pages. So..knowing exactly how to START the essay is important, and the tutor basically gave us the structure to cram lor. It may not help others la, but it helps a hell lot for me. I normally stare blankly cos' IDK how to start lol.

Anyway, I learnt quite alot from this workshop la, just gotta continue praccing. Wrote part a of an unemployment essay until 4, then went outdoor to shoot 50m x) I can draw Simon's 44lbs to anchorrrrrrr :D But my 50m really sucks like shite hahaha.

Today I finished b) of my unN essay, ready to hand in tomorrow lol. It's a totally new writing style, I think Mrs. L'd get a shock heh. Anyways, I went for Mr. H's Econs makeup class at Caraven today lor. Tianah, Sunday class is mother crowded! The classrooms are small alr, and they squish a hell lot of chairs inside one room; maybe 12 or 13 in a row and 3 rows la. Sun's class' almost full T.T I like my Sat class so much more. My bag got place to sit, np lor.

Lol and I met Tristan there also. What's with Caraven man, keep meeting old classmates. I was like 'ehy you know L. Junyang's in my Saturday Econs class lol.' and he said 'oh, he's next door now what.' Chem tuition! Xiongggg. Haha, so..it's a new week, gots more to mug!

Novels and Magazines

2009-04-28T22:43:00.002+08:00

Hello

Haha, today was trainingz. My score at 15m hella inconsistent. One end can be 54points and one end can have two Ms ._. Wlao sigh. So..did quite alot of pumping today cos I didn't run haha. I ran out of tissue in the first block leh omg x.X Did pushups while they ran for warmup lor. Then moar pushups when they came back lol.

Anyway, I came across this on lotsofscotts !

Magazines get to be slick and glossy. Novels get tired and worn.
Magazines can be relevant--always reinventing themselves. Novels don't reinvent themselves, they are what they are.
Magazines stay surface. Novels dig deep into characters' lives and backgrounds, exposing their humanity, including their flaws.
Magazines are usually thrown out with the trash. Novels are often passed around and treasured.
Magazines are the product of several authors. Novels are the result of only one.

So..yeah, decent analogy. Should aim to be a deeper person instead of .. superficial. Be a novel that is passed around and treasured. I guess I identify with this comparision cos' I'm a 'novel keeper' but magazines are really thrown out cos' got no space heh. God help me to let you be my number one (:

Tomorrow's Red Cross Farewell, marks an end to RC training times x)

..

2009-04-25T20:03:00.000+08:00

I think I should find other people for hughugs soon.

Blood Donation Drive!

2009-04-22T22:20:00.002+08:00

Hello

Woot, donate blood today! They took like 500ml of it in those bloodbags. Looks cool. Ironically the most painful part was injecting the painkiller, but damn imba, after the anaesthetic set in, I was just watching the mother big tube jab into me and got no pain lol. They taped the tube at my wrist which led into the bloodbag, and the tube of blood is warmer than I thought it would be! Oh oh, then before that right, gotta check whether your iron content high enough ornot, so they prick your finger and get a capillary tubeful of blood and drop it into a beaker of CuSO4 solution! If the droplet sinks then enough iron lol, superduper cool pls.

Hahaha okay anyway, I took bus to Potong Pasir la, studied at KFC instead of going outdoors to train. Not supposed to do strenuous exercise and especially lifting of heavy loads (my bow 34lbs la gj me). Finished Chem assignment and half of Quantum (:

Good day today. I'm happyish (:

Training Day!

2009-04-21T23:40:00.003+08:00

Hello

Woo, was a pretty great day today hee :P Despite some cramps in the morning and afternoon, yeah it was good. So got normal school stuff whatever, then take bus go for training. WP eh, I'm srsly hella accident-prone la omg x.x I was at Raja, talking to a junior then I almost walked into one of the pillars there, next to those round tables? I dodged just in time and squeezed in between the table-bench and the pillar...and rammed my arm hard into this small Lshaped metal thing sticking out from the wall. Go take a look if you haven't noticed it before. Tianah, my arm kena bruise and that part was swollen lor, and mother painful T.T

Was rubbing it all the way from Raja till we got onto the bus haha. So..Ken, Kim and JH at range alr shooting x) and we only did minimal warmups before shooting cos' J1s getting interviewed. Xiong, JH went to run before shooting lah, I saw him in his striking yellow running singlet when I walked in yepp. Damnit, why don't I have enough stamina to run long d, so cool D:

So we shootshoot, and my grouping was consistent, but not as small as I want it to be at 15m la..And I know I can one, cos old standard can group in 8point ring lor xian. I remember thinking what an awsmm day it'd be if TY came back to visit and he did x) Came about 7 just after we shot our last end. Range was pretty crowded with the J1s so I didn't notice when Edmund and Kevin (who shot an extra end) came running to me ' :D :D Ser Ser! Look who's here!!' Lol, I didn't even need to look and I know who they were talking about. So pack finish, then go over say hi. Was talking only lor, then Amin walk past and said bye (he was going home) and said damn loudly 'Wah, Serene having fun ah' hahahaha. Discussing about national team la, and how useless it'd be to join, cos' must follow their training regime, but competitions everything all is pay by yourself and it's waturf la. Shoot for you still must pay our own comp fees ._. Kim Ken him and me standing in a circle discussing la, and now I think back.. :X Kim thinks I like TY also; the other time JH mentioned it to her T.T And apparently I was 'damn animated while talking to him' according to Barbie, but I don't feel it leh, just abit happier I guess. Longtime no see friend what :P

Ate finish went back to the range, and later on TY got a call back from the TBAC guy! I overheard abit, say what, got three RJ dudes wanna go TB to shoot and when can they go. And I was like !He really went to call the Frankie guy! And so fast somemore hahaha :D Damn nice lah, cos' just before we left for dinner I said that Me Ed and Kev wanna go take a look at TBAC outdoor which is supposedly dem nice and distraction-free haha. TY was like, 'ah, you settle date alr just SMS me or sth la, you got my number right?' and I was like 'uh no, nemaiz, I get from Ken (:' I was in a rush see x) And Ed dem lame lor. He SMS me say 'wah he so nice ah! Go hughug him lol!'

Yeah anyways, reach home then jnow I was going to clean my mommy's stitches and I zham my thigh into the corner of my computer table. Srsly la, one injury like not enough, two ?! Zzz xian.

Donating blood tomorrow, at least I'll take the test and see if my blood count's high enough x) Mmm...yupp, today was a good day (: I've downloaded most of my necessary drivers for my nbk alr, so it's sort of back to normal heh. Kbai!

Sunday

2009-04-19T23:30:00.004+08:00

Hello

Wow, 's been a long day xD Went church early to do ushering, haha, was quite cool kinda I guess :P DLT was good though. There was a particular question which had a 'problem' yepp, about whether we are supposed to give away/sell all our possessions to help those in need. We went one round la, and I guess all of us know that the answer is YES, but some of us like Cherie couldn't bring herself to say yes, we are supposed to do it :\ Cos' the next logical question to ask is, so why then are we not doing it? And that is insanely difficult to answer and settle. I pointed them to Luke 14:33 which reads "In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple." Ouch? Anyway she looked really troubled about it and I pray that she will be fine (: Yeah and in the room with them when we were all thinking over the 'right' answer, I got like goosebumps lol, Belle also x) I agree, it's damn scary. It's in the Bible, why are we not doing it? I don't recall anyone having preached that, or told us that before.. Ach, tough x.X

So..Hazel gave birth on Friday afternoon haha, thank God for a smooth delivery (:

Today we went to play LAN, called JW and Amin along. Played almost three hours lol. Hmm, then went to PP to study hee x) Actly only me and Amin, but JW realised that he left his entire file at Macs yesterday so he had to go take his stuff la. Lucky they never throw his file away luh. Amin and I did Probability tutorial in the range from 6something till 9, JW did Chem Skill A (took the same amount of time hahaha) but was damn distracted by bball outside and us doing Math. So he'd pop his head over every now and then and do some of the questions we were floored by. JW's gay, he does 4m probability questions in two lines of working -.-!

Really funny part when we were stuck at 10 (iv). Amin checked answer and saw 45/244 and we spent more than 5minutes thinking over the question and trying various ways but we kept getting 31/105. Skipped it in the end haha. I continued on to question 12, got stuck at (iv) also, JW helped and commented that 'hey, why the 45/244 so familiar? Isn't that the answer to 10(iv)?' So I checked the back and ._. 10(iv) answer was 31/105. Superduper blur la Amin! Hahaha.

Okay yeah, competition's coming up! Gotta shoot outdoor moar; probably Saturday :P Sleep nao, bai.

):

2009-04-16T20:09:00.002+08:00

Hey

Sigh, today was a really bad day. It kinda started from yesterday, I got damn pissed with myself cos I reformatted my notebook and somehow I don't have any basic drivers onnit now. No internet, I dxdiag-ed it and there's no sound or video card detected. Bloody hell. So last night was pissed, this morning was emo.

I got back my Econs essay homework also, 3/12, and I referred to notes while doing it. IDK la, added to the general gloominess of the day..Go library try and download drivers online, internet speed some cock, averages 5kBps for a 65MB file tyvm T.T Gave up and asked YW to d/l for me lah.

And now I get confirmation from Simon that TY really changed club to TBAC, and I'm even sadder ): Sigh.

Or maybe I'm just PMSing. Bah humbug.

Holy Saturday

2009-04-11T16:09:00.003+08:00

Hello

Thursday night supposed to go nightcycling haha, but not enough people, so changed plans and played mahjong instead x) Came back abit late and..slept at around 1 haha. Almost couldn't wake up for Good Friday service in church at ten in the morning.

So..Uncle Ser Choon spoke for GF sermon and it was quite interesting. Friday would be a superduper gloomy day because Jesus got crucified. If we imagine ourselves back in that time, I think most, if not all, of us would have been feeling damn hopeless. I mean, the guy you've been following and he's been preaching, and performing miracles just..well, died. The sky darkened for dramatics yeah, but he's still uh, dead, up on the cross. IDK, the feeling has got to be very...helpless and maybe indignant.

But anyway, what really struck me was that..when Jesus was nailed to the cross to die right, he still had his dignity.

There they offered Jesus wine to drink, mixed with gall; but after tasting it, he refused to drink it.
Matthew 27:34

Wine mixed with gall is an olden day anaesthesia. The Romans did know the true cruelty of their method of execution, and gave the criminals some kind of anaesthesia to numb abit of the pain. But Jesus didn't want to drink it; he wanted full control of his mental faculties when he was doing this for man by God's will. As in, how to say, technically, as long as Jesus died for us, his blood would have washed our sins clean, whether or not he numbed the pain with some woozy medication. But he chose to do it wanting to know exactly what he was doing..? This means alot to me I guess, that Jesus didn't take the easy way out for me :| It wasn't some mistake that Jesus died on the cross for us, or he was misled or wasn't thinking straight, yupp.

There's this book called The Last Temptation of Christ which claims that Jesus might have thought about an alternate reality of a life together with Mary Magdalene. I disagree. Uncle Ser Choon pointed out that if there was indeed a last temptation for Christ, that wouldn't be it; it'd be coming down from the cross. Okay see, before this at the Garden of Gethsemane,

Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?
Matthew 26:53

And here you can see that Jesus clearly knows that he has the power to command twelve thousand angels anytime, anywhere.

³⁹Those who passed by hurled insults at him, shaking their heads ⁴⁰and saying, "You who are going to destroy the temple and build it in three days, save yourself! Come down from the cross, if you are the Son of God!"
⁴¹In the same way the chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders mocked him. ⁴²"He saved others," they said, "but he can't save himself! He's the King of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him. ⁴³He trusts in God. Let God rescue him now if he wants him, for he said, 'I am the Son of God.' " ⁴⁴In the same way the robbers who were crucified with him also heaped insults on him.
Matthew 27:39-44

And when he was on the cross, he was getting mocked and tortured and flogged and all that, but the most ouch thing was the Romans denying his status as the Son of God. They even said that 'hey, if you so powerful, then come down yourself lah. You can come down and we'll believe in you!' What would you do lol? Most of us would probably uh, come down from the cross just to show that I can, then go back up to die (still must do God's will haha). It's like, hah, in-your-face, I AM the Son of God you nubcakes. But Jesus didn't come down to show them. He had a long time to die, roughly six hours hanging on the cross. After enduring all the mocking, he still could resist the temptation to come down from the cross to shut those people up yes.

So yepp, that would really be the last temptation of Christ for me (: And Friday is a gloomy day, but we know that it doesn't end here because we have Easter Sunday. We have hope, the knowledge our God isn't dead but alive, and the knowledge of the depth of His love for us even though we are unworthy.

"It is finished."

Weekend..

2009-04-07T20:41:00.003+08:00

Hello

It's been a great weekend and Monday haha, Sunday was Holy Communion and it yeah, really reminded me about the death of Christ and His resurrection (which would be this Easter Sunday!) mhmm, I really am unworthy of a love so great as this :\

Played at least five games on Sunday afternoon lol, and I'm stopping on weekdays already; no more DotA on weekdays, only weekends (and limited amounts hee). I was supposed to catch up on my backlog of tutorials haha, will start soon :P

Yesterday we celebrated JW's birthday with a movie treat. 12 Rounds, starring John Cena :D :D Woo I like him in movies haha, so..big x) and fit! Haha. Anyways, I watched alot of movies lah, License To Wed, Fireproof, Wedding Daze, 12 Rounds, We Are Marshall (the last three I watched on Monday lol). Oh and JW's really a true gentleman, a guy who treats all his girl friends as..girls. IDK, normally guys are especially nice (hold doors, hold lifts, offer seats) to their girlfriends only, but there's a rare minority who are like that to all the girls they know (y). His girlfriend/spouse will be one helluva lucky woman (: I'm pretty content knowing that I have such a friend lol.

So..from the movie Fireproof, this song's been pretty stuck in my head yepp.

While I'm Waiting - John Waller

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

And..yeah it's a really good song. I must must must remember that the Lord has a plan for my life, and I'm not just waiting and sitting around for it to unfold, but I need to wait on him, to serve and worship him..while I'm waiting (: I am confident that if I serve the Lord now with all my heart, to seek ye first the kingdom of God, I know that all these things will be mine (Matt 6:33), because God loves me (: And you too haha :D I pray that this nubby heart will accept this truth and internalise it.

Praise God for a completely healed shoulder; my left shoulder no longer has that 'bad pain' anymore, even after doing PT and shooting a round today (and 3 arrows on Kevin's 38lbs :P). Also, thank God that Christabelle got Silver for her Band SYF haha. My God answers prayers, even if they are not immediate. And, A for Math paper :D My first A in two years!

Saturdays..

2009-04-04T21:13:00.002+08:00

Hello

Haha today was pretty much a typical Saturday, tuition morning, YF late afternoon heh. I skipped the Brewerkz birthday celebration for Caleb at night though, was kinda uhm, wearing what, youth camp shirt and FBTs and flops lol. Slightly underdressed only. Anyway I'm kinda sharing present with everyone else x) this pasta making machine for $75, dem imba.

Oh and YF we played some game called Rattlesnake. Fu lost and had to do a forfeit and we were like, one arm pushups! Cos' he injured his wrist or something heh. He pretend donno how to do and Joel went 'Joshuaaaaa, demo!' and happily do uh, commando one arm? Hee x) one arm pushup and clap behind his back lol. Super xiong. And I was talking to Jo today also. Says Natnat's Econs is failing too, and he's probably gonna tutor Nat. While he's there saving Nat's ass, he might as well save mine too. So..yeah, hope this works out :| I spoke with Josh at length too, was kinda nice I guess, like, knowing him better. After a DLT book with him and I'm still quite on superficial terms with him and his brother la D: Damn.

This weekend's almost over, I'mma stop playing DotA on weekdays already haha. Gotta catch up with backlog of tutorials and all that. As for CT results..U for Econs, C for Chem, E for Physics. Almost all expected, except that I thought I'd get an S for Physics for such a lousily done paper.

Oh, I talked to Lee JY today too lol. Actually it was more of a exchange-two-sentences conversation, but I haven't heard his voice for the longest of times haha. His voice is..slightly higher pitched than what I'd have expected, but haha, cute (:

Thoughts

2009-03-29T20:24:00.003+08:00

Hello

Woo well, I just came back from playing LAN like, $9 kthx. Mother expensive hobby, I'm finding this, hahaha. So anyways, got owned (normal.) and all that. But something struck me as I was going home lah.

Random, but uh..I can't actually figure out why I'm sticking to certain 'rules' in my life. Okay like, why am I refusing to even consider dating non-Christians? I know what it entails; basically making my pool of fish smaller. But there's this sense of wrongness in my intent. It's too muddled up, I can't even decide whether it's because it's not the right thing to do (afraid of what people'd say) or it's because I want to obey and honour God. It seems stupid to do it because I'm afraid of what people'd say, cos' I've never actually bothered about what people said.

So when my Christian friend dates a non-Christian, IDK, it feels so...naggy to bug him abourit. There's an uncomfortableness in my heart I guess. At the same time, who am I to him, that I can criticise about his choice of girlfriend? Maybe like, he gets all the fun and I have to..sit by the sidelines, but God still loves both of us T.T Sigh I really really need to figure this out soon.

Plus, I know what the purpose of my dating is; to find out if someone's compatible for marriage. If not, there's no point in dating unless it is the end itself. And personally the latter type is hella pointless. So I'm going to get to know all my guy friends by physical intimacy like from dating? (as in, hugging, kissing, cuddling, not sex la.) And do whatever I want or something. That's so..messy. I don't know, I always felt that being in a relationship's like giving part of yourself to that person. And I've had that feeling for all my close friends, what more if I had boyfriends :\ It'd be amplified cos' we'd be super close emotionally mah. Seems like it'd be too..messy when and if I get married next time. It's not very nice knowing that your husband had a hell lot of messy past relationships and has done things with other women lah. It's acceptable, but a meh feeling inside. I reckon there're guys who are like that out there, and they are keeping themselves pure for a reason similar to mine as well. I hope they won't be disappointed, and I won't be too.

Lord I pray for a loving heart, that I would not judge for it is not for me to criticise. Help me Lord to be humble and let your name be glorified in my words, my thoughts, my deeds, and every part of me. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

(:

2009-03-27T23:24:00.002+08:00

Hello

Blocks are over (: Econs is a surefail, GP was alright. Math and Chem decent (: but Physics abit lol. Could do about half the paper only, ggxxe.

Celebration now (:

Just watched Flywheel by Sherwood Baptist Church. The Kendrick brothers wrote and directed it lah, and it's still good. Both Flywheel and Facing The Giants were damn good, but FTG was better heh. I'm just waiting for Fireproof to come out on DVD, then I'll have my crying dosage caught up lol. These movies always make me feel so inspired to continue living a life for God, now all I gotta do is keep at it!

Blocks!

2009-03-22T22:56:00.002+08:00

Hello

Ahwells, tomorrow's the start of my blocktests/CTs ! GP, Econs, Chem, Math, Physics. Keep me in your prayers, thankyou (: I'm listening to happy TheClickFive songs now lol. Gonna sleep soon already heh.

Mugmug

2009-03-20T20:50:00.000+08:00

Hello

Wao, I really didn't know I could mug so much. I've never done this kind of intensive 8hourdaily mugs before hahaha. Thought I'd foam from 3h onwards. Maybe it's cos I have funny things to talk about la (:

So..well, late last night while bathing I kinda had a realisation. Probably..now, I'd consider Justine my closest female friend, but it doesn't bother me that she may/has a closer female friend than me, and I don't know why D: (doesn't seem to work that way with guys zz) So I think it's a guy issue, and I'll just leave it alone sigh.

Haha yesterday's tuition, and dropped by to visit church camp. I got the shirt, and it looks naice :D Everyone was like 'whoahhhh ser! You come just when the bbq start!' lol. And Natnat got self jacked! Haha, Fu was like 'wah ser, you came just for the -hesitates- food ?' and Natnat was standing next to me. I think earlier on they were asking him about where I was, plus we always tio scandal lol. Then Nat thought the pause was referring to him and he immed went 'wlao eh, Fu you say somemore I whack you arh.' And Fu just stunned lol, cos the pause wasn't intentional hahaha, and all of us were like ! Why Nat so sensitive! haha. Self jaaaack :P

Hung out with the younger girls like Corliss Odelia, and the twins also (: Damn lame, we just instinctively find common ground like DotA or the marathon thingy and I just kinda .. 'doublechecked' with Joshua that he'd run his second StandChart full mara for me :P It's okay, wait for three years for the shirt lor! I don't mind :D :D ! I said something like 'eh yah! So you really running 42click next time right! Run and get the shirt for me when you're nineteen :P' and Yining went '! I also want! Run for me when you turn twenty!' Hahaha, super funny. He was like LOL suresure xD hee.

Alright I'll go do other stuff already heh. Bai (:

Been A Week

2009-03-18T23:53:00.000+08:00

Hello (:

Wow it's been a week since I blogged, cmi, I keep reaching home at 9plus from the range lol. Been having practically all my meals at Potong Pasir (damn I need to get a life.) Ahwells, at least it's been reasonably productive hee. I just completed Math, just review the day before lah. Chem I'm almost done with the TYS questions, waiting for a practice paper from Edmund. Econs I'm supposed to do Sat-Sun x) and Physics..well, Physics..tomorrow and Friday ba :\ I've started on some already la, so not as bad. Not bad for four days, personally (:

So..yesterday was the twins' birthday haha. Plus they humoured me enough to play a game of DotA with me last night after rushing their packing x) We were about to vs pub when they found friends, so we IHed fullhouse instead. First game Joseph and I disconnected, so they remade, and we shuffledplayers and O: twins, me nigel edmund vs twins' friends haha. Both of them were the best in the game cos' the pro guy 007 wasn't playing. So opp team was like 'O: twins together lol.' and I played Tidehunter (: Was alright la heh, cos' I had tweeens (:

Yepp today I spent the entire day at the range, from 9.30 till 9.30 sigh. I didn't plan to shoot today, cos afternoon got Tang's kids (even though Tang's overseas lol) so I just wore flops. Hmm..studied, then went to eat KFC for lunch, met JH, chatted, he shot with the kids, Edmund and Kevin also, Amin and I just mugged our asses off. Zhiwei came later, did some P&C, shot x) We're boring people lol.

Oh, for breaks, like we went outside to play basketball about thrice hahaha. First was at 11plus, I was freezing in the range and the sun looked really good outside. Convinced them to come out with me and run around, shoot abit of hoops la. Got warm and went back inside, and because of this, something like a warmup, Edmund was shooting damn well (like got feeling) after basketball lol. The next time was around 3plus and JH came out with us to play, and he taught us how to do a lay-up lol. Most basic shot in bball x) I think I need more work with it haha, footwork feels damn unnatural now, maybe cos I'm noob la lol.

The third time we played was after JH left and the range was all cleared of kids already. Saw a free half court and wanted to practise the lay-up shot again lol. And wlao la, ytd and today, the guys keep talking about me and TY la, JH start to like, tease me about him lor. I don't even like him that way la, just think he's damn pro x) TY came in and JH poked me to tell me he was behind la thanks. Amin they all also keep saying things like 'wah ser sleeping overnight at the range la today.' Then when Kevin waved to TY (while I was chatting to him), they were like 'wahlao Kevin stop disturbing la!' turf!

Okay late. I'll sleep soon haha, g'nights. Probably dropping by church camp tomorrow to say hi, I feel bad for skipping it sigh.

So Far..

2009-03-12T21:15:00.003+08:00

Hello

Didn't manage to blog yesterday heh, but anyways, my uncle flew from HK ytd to accompany my ahma so we had seafood dinner lor. I didn't go for training cos' of that haha, and Red Cross was scheduled to end at 4pm cos' we're qionging alot of the SFA syllabus heh. Tang's kids at the range, not much point if I go down la, gotta wait my turn, plus crowded and noisy x)

So, ended up mugging with Barbie, Xiaoxiao, Jiale, Dean..yepp. Hahaha JL's rly dem cute lor, got small angle approx question IDK how to do, I asked Xiaoxiao and she taught me a little bit. I'mma stare at the question somemore and Jiale was like 'got Math question isit, come over here..' so I brought my book and sat next to him la. He held a pencil (like poised to write) over my working and he was like 'Mmm..Ahh, wow. ... Mhmm..' then he looked up and smiled at me(!). I was like 'You haven't done power series, have you lol.?' and he went 'nope.' Hahaha damnit, say earlier laaaa tmd, waste my timeee xD !

Barbie got poked and it got videoed on Facebook. Friends, check it out =P

Haha and quite a while ago I casually remarked to JW that I haven't watched the Dunham's Very Special Christmas Special yet, and he just grunted; we were having some kinda meal, I forget. Then suddenly last last night he was like 'ah I just d/led it, I bring for you?' So yesterday morning I got the thumbdrive and I went 'oh.. ._. I can't watch it now ah' and he kept bowing his head 'sorry sorry, I never bring comp, you can't watch now, sorry sorry' Hahahahaha x) Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised when I found out that he stuffed the previous two shows, Spark of Insanity and Arguing With Myself inside too (: Such a nice fella, heh. And all DVD rip quality too; aXXo ftw!

Today's the official last day of T1 cos' tomorrow's a holiday for the stellar results by the previous batch (Yongjin's 9 Distinctions tyvm). I'mma shootstudy tomorrow morning, then..SIM openhouse (: I'll also attempt to squash NUS and NTU openhouse on Saturday between 1-7 haha. Please pray that I'll have enough time (and will) to study! I look forward to Sat's DLT meeting too; it seems like way too long :P

Self Training (:

2009-03-09T23:31:00.005+08:00

Hello

Haha today it was raining so bad la adoh. I ended school at 2pm, rain dem heavy, so I went library with my classmates to mug luh. Ended up borrowing two books :P and cos' I carried alot of stuff in, Toan nicely offered to carry my files and everything for me so I could borrow my books hee (; I think J2 guys generally get much nicer haha.

Left school, reached the range about 4.10pm with Kevin and Amin, setup, shot a lil' then I realised that my bow got stronger over the weekend. Tuned nocking point a bit, but generally I'm getting damn sick and tired of it alr. And because the nocking point is higher than last time's, my sight is lower than my old 28lbs limbs, which means now I can't shoot 50m, and I'm considering hecking tuning and just crank my bow up max to shoot 50m yerps.

Amin and I were supposed to go back to school for a local uni admission talk at 7pm, so we decided to leave at 5.30 to eat. TY came in about 5.25 la, and we were asking him how were tryouts etc. but apparently it was postponed. And when TY asked if we were leaving already (because I was packing my bow, Amin was saying something about last end), Amin said damn loudly lor 'Serene might wanna reconsider that decision x) ?' turfimsure x.x He's some kewl awesome guy but he's too old for...Damn I gotta get round to casually asking how old he is hahaha. Then we ate KFC and took bus back to school luh.

There were refreshments downstairs for the parents attending the talk, and Amin and I just KPO abit. I asked the cher who was in charge of the refreshments table, who happened to be my last year's PE cher, and he said 'ah, later then you guys take, it's supposed to be for the parents (: ' and Amin raised a fist up in the air and said 'oh but you see, we're future parents!' He happily went up the stairs before noticing the waturf expression on my face and when I asked if he knew what he just said. Tianah, dem paiseh to the PE cher lor lol. Oh it's damn cool cos he was wearing the Aviva Ironman Triathlon shirt and I was like ahhhsupercoolpls! Hee ;)

The talk was quite informative la, and the representative from NTU was the NTU prof who did the funny lecture feedback on Youtube! Justine and I was like 'EHHH, this guy looks and sounds familiar!' then later concluded he was; and he is haha. He's quite a funny guy, very humorous heh. Aight, I'mma off to bed now (:

These two days..

2009-03-07T23:15:00.000+08:00

Hello

Alright let's start from Friday. I was too shag to blog haha. Friday was results day, and archery orientation games heh. Xiao, Yongjin got perfect score for his 13credits la wtf! Bloody amazing guy srsly, and I know him :D ! Met Pris, Shanhui, Zhanming in school haha, all of them like, 4As, B for GP :\

Yepp, then Archery Captain's Ball lol. J1 guys are damn rough and plonk. We kept losing possession of the ball cos' when say, a J2 guy and a J1 girl run to get the ball, our guys always give la. J1 guys is just pure competitiveness, very much like my classmates in J1 lor. And Barbie was commenting like 'adoh why they don't fight for the ball one.' (with the exception of Alvin) and I went 'if they did, they wouldn't be our guys :D' And it's true! It's amazing how much they've changed (for the better) over the past year and how close we are as a team (: IDK, it feels damn weird to say this, but boy, am I proud to be their friend and team mate xD

Amazing race was okay lah, just made juniors do weird things haha. Nothing worth mentioning; nothing really stands out that much..

Today eh, not bad, went for tuition then SMU open house. Walked an entire round around the campus then realised that the open house was at the Admin building down the next street ._. Basically the concourse was all the CCAs showcasing stuff. Got super cool stuff like Muay Thai and stuff liddat lor. At the Admin building is all the courses and majors that SMU offers. Hmm.. went to watch some CCA performances at the hall area. SMU Breakers are pretty cool leh, they're actually not bad lor haha. We watched them twice :P and we had names for some of the guys x) One of 'em was the tall one cos he's one head taller than the rest, whom Justine likes! And I like the one with a kiddy face (slightly reminiscient of Leech) and a poseur hairstyle haha, he does like handstands and headstands on the floor in weird angles so he's damn strong la (like he can hold his body in that position, defying the centre of gravity thing). His shirt flipped out once or twice and it's like wao ka-bam, tenpecs ftw! I think breaking trains your core muscles hee. And there was another guy whom we nicknamed mophead cos' his hair was like a mop, and punnily, there's a part in their routine that he skidded across the floor on his head, and spun on it too. We were saying like lulz, if it were us, later our hair kena caught in the tape on the floor and ouch x) Plus we mop much more efficiently since our hair is long hahaha.

Well went for church and the message was good. It's about God's work of art in you. About seeing people for who God sees them (made in his image, in his likeness, and the potential person they can be) instead of how we see flaws and all that. So..yepp, maybe in heaven when we meet we'd be like, ...wow, this is part of Sarah I never saw, this is the Sarah that God made and it's wooo~ haha. Yepp, it's an ongoing process that uh, we must make this conscious effort to put off things like anger, rage, malice, slander, lies and filthy words :$ Guilty as charged.

Well, I'll sleep soon, shag, plus late already. Haha, Ryan and Zhanming are in Kestral, Shanhui's in Yankee, Daniel's in Zulu, all passing out on Wednesday. Mmm, then Joash enlists on Thursday :P Haha, damn we're all getting old. Aight I better sleep now heh, g'nights!

School

2009-03-05T20:25:00.002+08:00

Hello

Ah, finally Econs test over. Prep for it dem long alr lol, now just concentrate on other nonsense. Mmm looking forward to Archery orientation..thingy tomorrow evening (: Haha managed to complete the entire EM tutorial, so I'm feeling pretty damn accomplished atm.

GG me, tomorrow 2.4 hahaha. Now just hope I can pass it lor. 17.30 ftw! And to uh, try and keep up with my mugging schedule. It's like moving too fast for me :P

So..Anyway, I'm pretty over whatever emo stuff already la, I hope it'll stay that way for a long long time. And tomorrow's the release of A's results! Shanshan's coming back to RI =] See his new imba hairstyle haha.

Maybe I'll sleep early tonight again whee~

Training

2009-03-04T22:19:00.003+08:00

Hello

Ah, long time no post. Same reason, busybusybusy. Anyway today was NAPFA and wooo, I passed everything hahaha. Left the 2.4 on Friday and I think I'll just push myself to pass la srsly. And I jumped like for the first time evar, 172! I think all that legwork in the gym helped :P

Then training today, we went outdoor. Rained and stopped, nothing major, so it was good cos' we still could shoot a lil' (: Lol I thought can shoot 50m today but Ken say setup 4 30m boards. Heh ohwells, shot quite noobily la, outta 240 minus 50 points turf imsurepls x.x

'Twas really weird cos' my 28lbs limbs last time at 30m, sightpin's at 4.9, but now with my 34lbs limbs ehhh, sightpin's at 5.1 T.T How the hell am I going to shoot 50m la thanks. But yeah, I figured that the only thing that I've changed is my pushclick thing, which I don't think is the reason, and my nocking point. I'm moving my nocking up for tuning, so..the arrows'd point more downwards lor. Damn does this mean I gotta upgrade my limbs again ._. dem lame leh zz. Or I just heck tuning and force crankup my bow lor.

Oh, did bow training. GGXXE with my 34lbs hahaha. Swapped with Andrew for 2 ends, wah, his and mine is dem different. Draw and hold 30seconds right, after about 6 seconds my right hand starts to leave anchor point and inch back towards the bow. When I used Drew's I can hold at anchor for almost the entire 30seconds haha. Damn my drawlength seriously. Argh, arrow don't fly far enough T.T

Well, this week's been fun, and I'm randomly starting to miss DLT sessions with the leaders heh. I'll probably have an early night. GLHF for my Econs test tomorrow, which..Jojo kinda provided the entire outline for me lol, I'll just try to remember as many points as possible, and elaborate x)

Rain

2009-03-01T20:14:00.003+08:00

Hello

Srsly I tell you, all the weather knows how to do nowadays is rain rain rain. Today got dem wetz, reached Kevin's house for tuition and changed to shorts lol. Shoes everything all wet la sigh. How to dry.

Ah well, it's archery spring cleaning tomorrow lolx. Go down and fix up all the bows and yepp. Should be fun, kinda haha.

And we played IH against Frisbee J1s. Me Amin JW HP got our asses thrashed. Cos' clearly we < them la. Sigh I'm such a loserrrrrrrr. At least we won the first pub game heh x)

Okay I better do some amount of Physics tonight

Woo

2009-02-28T20:50:00.003+08:00

Hello

Haha rarely I get a Saturday afternoon freeee (: So I went to shoot haha. Muzmuz Stanley Kayhian and some guy were drafting Magic, so they were just being noisy at the range lol. Amin and I refletched arrows, and tune nocking point. Wah the nocking point is !@#$% basket, even after shifting the masking tape, arrows don't go where they're supposed to go. Like there's a problem but I have no idea where it lies.

Nm, later Xiaoxi came! Haha shooting was not bad today anyways, shot one quite imba grouping (: Oh and I refletched everything with the Cartel jig haha. Changed from black-orange-black to all 'Brite Green' (so it says on the bag of fletches xD) but I left my black nocks alone cos' it'd look too weird if I changed my nocks to fluorescent green too heh.

Well, TY came today :D but he didn't shoot, cos he shot this morning like from 11 at outdoors. He was like all burnt haha. Tian ah, I asked him how was it and he said he shot his personal best then I'm like :O what score for the 70m? and he went 330. So, the next question is upon how much, and he said 360 and all of us just jawdrop holyshit wtf?! Hahaha srsly at 70m? Waturf, I went '...0.0 I er, don't think I can hit 330 outta 360 at 15m ._.' All bow down and hail him as king xiah.

That's about it, haven't been blogging cos' aiyah, busy. Tomorrow is the first day of my mugging schedule (yeah, I've drawn it up already xD) and I should really try to start on it tomorrow haha. Not much time left till CTs, and tonnes of topics to cover :\ Damn Chemistry, spam like equilibria nonsense which was last year's topics. Adds 4 or 5 extra topics lor zzz.

Heh

2009-02-24T21:31:00.002+08:00

Hello

Haha it's been awhile (: too busy studying O: At least Chem and Math's over hee, left next week's Econs test..

Just picked up my guitar after like two weeks of not touching him, and boy do I miss holding him close to meeee (: Lol. Anyway, today was training, did like T form with the nubby J1s and wah, I'm dem weak hahaha. Do like 8 1min reps then start to homg pain alr x)

We did Korean pushups! (10 only la) Damn nostalgic, we reminisce about the old days where we qionged 13 Kor x)

Well, I guess I'll try filing some stuff now heh; the green file's full to bursting. AAMoF, I'm surprised it hasn't x)

(:

2009-02-20T18:03:00.004+08:00

Hello

Haha just came back from gym, and I saw those roller curtain things on my table. My mom says my daddy kept bugging her to find something like that for the window in my room cos the window faces my bed. Whenever I wanna nap or stuff, even at night, got light outside la, so it's a little annoying, but the thing is, I've never complained about it to anyone! Maybe mentioned once or twice in passing, but that's about it lol. Apparently my mom says he bug her damn long already hahaha. Aww daddy's awesome hee (: So it's probably gonna be up soon heh.

Talked with Justine today, after gym, like serious stuff O: Reminded me of some old times with R (I told her the entire story roughly) haha. I did treasure the happy times, and I guess I can choose to not remember the lousy shitass moments la. And choosing not to remember is different from forgetting (: I recall some speaker telling us before, God doesn't forget our sins and transgressions, he just chooses not to remember them; it's a 'conscious' choice. So I think it's good to differentiate these two la, it's not so much a forgive-and-forget thing, but not digging up past matters to use against you (:

Lol, anyway, I saw this on Dianne's link on Facebook. I like. It's an original and the lyrics are here:

Dear friend I haven't heard from you in ages
I wonder how you're making out (I think this means how you're doing :x)
Last time we talked I felt the space growing between us
I didn't think you'd go so far

Tell me how could you just vanish
Without giving me any reasons
What were you thinking
And does this all make sense to you?

It's hard when you don't say anything
I gave you everything
And still you slip right through my fingers
It's hard when you don't say anything
Is this how you finish things?
Because to me, this doesn't feel like the end... dear friend

It's not like me to put my trust in somebody
But to you I gave it all
And if you'd asked me I would soften all your falls
But now it's me who's stumbling

And wow, it really makes me think about the past superclosefriends that I've had through the years, how we've run out of topics to talk about, or just too busy for one another. Okay actually the person which springs to mind is GH :\ Don't think it's intentional la, but sometimes it really does feel like there's an increasing gap cos' we're too wrapped up in our own lives and our own circle of friends..But yeah, remember the great times we've had, and somehow this makes life all the more worth living heh :D

Accomplishment of sorts

2009-02-19T20:27:00.003+08:00

Hello

Woo I feel so accomplished today. I kinda completed my Arenes tutorial, and about half of Math 14B tutorial too x) Rawr, tomorrow I'll have PE in the morning, then do work, then gym (: Seems like such a long time where I don't have anything on on Friday evenings haha. I shall go home and play some DotA lol.

Well, it feels like not a bad day today, I actually did c'plex #s tutorial during the lecture :P Like, I could do it! Haha. So..I might do some work tonight so I can slack off tomorrow night, since Saturday I'll be out the entire day (yet again.)

I think I'm back to happy-me again, and I like this feeling hee x)

P.S. Please pray for me, I wanna stay awake for all my lectures and tutorials !

Random Realisations

2009-02-18T21:45:00.001+08:00

Hello

Aye today I overheard a conversation by my classmates la, I wasn't eavesdropping, I was like eating my food alone and they just talked. Basically, they were discussing about the what-if-my-mom-knows-I-have-a-boyfriend and what they'd do. IDR much, but I do remember that one was like 'so? She can't make me break up with him what. What can she do? I still go to school and stay back to supposedly, study.' And..I thought that was quite sad. Yeah we should listen to our parents leh, I mean, if not for the know-better-than-you aspect, then for the respect that they are entitled to. It's not like you blindly follow, but even after debating an issue, if your parents still say no then..even if you don't like it, agh, like, must still do la. Like the countless times I ask them to let me stay over at some guy's place for a mass sleepover sigh :\

Yepp anyways, went for RC today, MinJia taught J1s FA theory and J2s had our own reflections and stuff to do la. Finish then stayed to chat with the guys for awhile, and yeah, the rapport we built during orientation camp is still there, and I'm dem thankful for that haha (: It feels good to still have a connection la. Kinda 'good' friends with Chiew Yee, MinJia, Dean, Jiale, Qiwen, maybe KuanHua? Haha, we're like CCA friends lor, during trngs dem close, but that's about it. It's still nice to have friends like them though x)

After that I went to canteen to get a snack and got distracted by the archery girls in the canteen chatting, Zhiwei Michy Justine Jennifer heh. Sat down and chatted also lor. The three left and I was talking to Michy la. We found common ground, and well, I've always thought I was alone in this particular thinking, but apparently not. It sounds very..possessive when I try to articulate it lol, but yeah. I feel uncomfortable knowing that my closest guy or girlfriend has a even closer girlfriend than me. Something like, being mutual best friends. So..well, I usually back off when he/she has a damn good girlfriend and just be a 'normal' friend lor. Which makes life alot more difficult when I'm looking for a 知心朋友 heh. Well alright, this is the end of my 24h emo period, and I'll probably be back to being.. Serene tomorrow yay.

Training

2009-02-17T22:30:00.001+08:00

Hello

Woo, I stayed awake for all the tutorials today, except Math hahaha. Super funny, I was just falling asleep like damn obviously in the front row, but Mrs T-Y just ignored me lol. Then I kept sleep-copying stuff from the board and I've no idea what I was writing la. Yadi kept laughing at me cos' I just stop writing halfway and my head just drops slightly then I jerk half-awake and try to continue writing x) Dem funny. Then the final time was that my head on my forearm and I was writing/twirling my pen and I KOed and my pen dropped onto the table with this reasonably loud noise. I instantly woke up hahaha and I think my expression was (y) cos' Yadi kept laughing and laughing, I was laughing at myself also cos I jumped at the noise the pen made. I think I'm becoming slightly incoherent.

Anyways, went for training, Ken told me to demo to the J1s who came for second tryouts. Waturf, there were like I think more than 30 J1s?! We actually already overshot our quota lol, range gonna be hella crowded (it already is x.x) So..basically I skipped warmups, pushups, T-form x) Hee.

On the bright side, I'm getting moreorless used to my new 34lbs limbs (:

I should stop being a emo lamer. Zzzz. Sometimes it's damn tempting to just give myself two tight slaps to stfu. I keep saying how blah it is for girls to give false hopes to guys so I'm just scrutinizing everything I do and it's getting damn tiring, at the same time I'm dem afraid that somehow I'm leading him on without meaning to and damn, that's a total bitch. IDK, I'm feeling like some failure now, can't seem to handle my interpersonal relationships properly. But surely after so long..? I don't want to bring up the topic cos' it's so presumptious on my part but at the same time it's getting on my nerves, the way I (think I have to) watch what I say, what I do, what I touch (like interpreting a whack on the forearm as..flirting, godforbid.) I called him back today to thank him for getting something for me as a favour and I'm like aghhh, how'm I supposed to.. Screw this, I'm going to study Physics.

DLT and DotA

2009-02-15T17:53:00.005+08:00

Hello

Haha, went out to play LAN today, after so long! Ryan and Daniel are at outfield so..they can't come church today. 'Twas Joel Alex Tyn and me, and I'm like rawr, so boring! so I called Junwen out. He was otw to shoot outdoors lol, like walking to Woodlands MRT kind of ontheway. Met at AMK, played two/three public games. We kinda won all, and made people leave x) One game I use Treant and he randomed PotM..and.....he doesn't use starfall to farm, it's pure last hitting goodness and at the time when I got 27 creepkills he got 72 ._. Another factor is that he was soloing and I was dual laning la. Pretty earlyish in the game though, say, 10 15 minutes? IDRR x) Imba farming god. I broke my radiance record today too. 24min12s for a radiance (: Originally was 24half haha. As Junwen says 'Wow! Improving! Keep it up!'.

So. I have a Physics lecture test tomorrow, I should start revising much O:

Oh and for DLT today lol. Matthew Cherie Christabelle me and Natnat. Dem funny la. We try and involve Matthew cos' his previous DLT leader say throughout the entire half year he only spoke twice x) Natnat and I wanted to .. y'know, make him talk more, so we kept asking him questions. Lol, then a few times, we ask 'so, Matthew, what do you think about the text?' and he'll just look down at his book like he's deep in thought, but I've no idea what's going on inside. After a full minute of silence, Natnat'd look at me and I'd look at him and we'll communicate the mutual 'eh?' without words and we continue to wait another minute for Matthew to try responding. Hahaha, happened more than once la, damn funny. Hope they talk more hee (:

Camp (mainly)

2009-02-14T23:29:00.002+08:00

Hello

Aha, very long two days heh. I'll start with Friday!

Celebrated Valentine's in the morning with the archers. Guys were really sweet, girls got a band thingy which writes "Archery girls r hot" lol. It's on my pencil case heh. Amin and Muz wrote a poem each on my card, and Dlu drew me a Serine (which happens to be optically active, as kindly pointed out by Muz cos' there's a chiral carbon! Lol.) Got chocolates and sweets from Zhiwei and Jen, a note card thing from Nigel, and alot of hugs from people (:

Then NAPFA trial test ggxxe. Failed my 2.4 by 5seconds cos' well, I haven't been training. I shall consider .. training yes. Legs were pretty wobbly after the run. Haha and I managed to run for 3 rounds straight (improvement from the previous 2 or 1 and a half xD!)

Then..gym x) and Red Cross camp, which was unexpectedly fun, really. I thought it'd be a helluva lame Vday spent with the RC guys, but no, it was decent, and I miss them now haha. We were supposed to have a movie thru the night but everybody too shag alr haha. KOed in the movie room on our mattresses..

Which logically brings me on to Saturday lol.

Well, we performed our batch dance for the J1s as an ending thing, and thanks Qi Wen for putting up with my nonsense, being my dance partner, and for the sleeping bag at night :P Hope you didn't freeze so bad lol.

Broke camp at 6.45pm and did area cleanup for like, ten minutes before I had to rush off for DLT at Emme's house heh. Cos' it's been such a long week, I feel like I haven't seen my DLT leaders for a quite awhile luh haha. Reconnected with them and I feel happy now hee. I might have mentioned this before, but I absolutely enjoy the DLT leader sessions we have on Fri/Sat nights heh. So..yerps.

Haha so it's Valentine's Day today, I spent mine with friends, and I like that. Ofcourse there's still a naggy little jumper at the back of my mind, say if I really was together with J, how awesome would that be =]

G'nights, and this year's Valentine's was great (:

Hearts.

2009-02-12T22:09:00.004+08:00

Hello

Seems like today's a day of sorrows and tears. Maybe I'm attempting to combat that by looping The Click Five songs sigh. Well, quite a few friends of mine didn't do as well as they expected on SATs. Coupla classmates, archery friends, ...and some schoolmates too. I won't say that I feel their pain, but I sympathise and I care, whether that's believable or not.

Sigh, I don't know, this reminds me of all the shit that happened in S1 and S2 time with..R. Used to be really close with him, and there was once he got extremely worked up over some issue, was crying in his room and refused to pick up my call. My heart just .. broke for him. I almost cried in my own room also :\ Sort of feeling the same way now, for a few friends.

Well, don't feel like a failure. I agree that results are important, because all this society cares about is your results. But ... I don't know, not making the required results doesn't make you less of a person or less of a friend than you are now. No, you don't fail in everything you try, there are some things which can't be calculated, and are valued. Like how you're so fun to be around with, how you've cheered me up, how you manage to hold a group of friends together. Agh, this is starting to sound vaguely demented. You don't lose your intrinsic value as a person even if you don't score up to expectations. And nobody said life was a bed of roses. Chillax, and pick yourself up again.

Aye, I think God's heart breaks for them too, not only mine.

CCA Day Again!

2009-02-11T22:40:00.001+08:00

Hello

Woo, had Red Cross today first, it's amazing, the J1 batch is huge! Okay the batch before us had..8 or 9 girls. My batch has about 17 or 18. The J1 batch got like 25 or more x.x Not all will stay, that I agree, but it's still quite alot of people lor. Back to norm; more girls than guys haha, only my batch was different x)

So..camp's this Friday to Saturday, seems quite fun, sort of got back closer with the RIRC guys again la, so got people to talk to during CCA and camp also luh (:

After RC (which ended abit early today) I took bus down to the range haha. I reached at 4pm and I called alot of people but they all dao meh. I asked Tang nicely if I could shoot with his kids (there were like 23 plusplus la. The range was swarming with them, eeps.) and he was like 'ah you one person nemai one la, go squeeze behind and shoot' and cos' there were two details (one at 10m one at 15m) I shot every other end. Everyone was shooting like 10 arrows so I finish fast and did Econs and listened to musick :D Bored to bits pls. I thought the rest of the archers would come back at 5.30 but it started raining so heavily at about 4.10pm and they finally came back at .. 6.30? Lol.

Went to eat and shoot somemore. Met TY! Likerr I haven't seen him for quite awhile? Today's possibly the first time I've seen him this year haha. He's like a frickin' magician la. The other time he taught Yanwei some small trick wrt the mechanical release or something, and insta-results XXX1099 or something; IDRR haha. Anyway, today he told me to try pushing my left arm forward to click, instead of pulling my right arm back. Less margin of error cos' less muscles move or something. I tried the first end it was like, whoah imba! Instant grouping improve, visible from 15m shooting line lol. The entire concept is very interesting lor, like should try and focus on only one thing at a time, and since your right hand only need to hold at anchor and relax, it's quite brainless. Why not focus on your left arm so you can aim properly?

Which works like a charm! Pushing the bow towards the target sort of..yeah, takes a longer time to click, but it's good (~3seconds. Normally I click too fast cos' too weak haha). And focusing on the bow arm stabilises it. It's not the first time I've seen my bow arm moving/floating about the target while I'm trying to click, pulling my right arm back for all its' worth haha. I feel happy about this, I shall continue trying to do the push-click thing. Not pulling back to click also doesn't screw up my face when the string is like, trying to 'cut my face into half' lol; yet another reason to try this push-click. Seems to yield results (:

My daddy bought another modem lol, he can't carry the desktop downstairs to use the WiFi and he wants to read his 武侠小说 x) So I'm back home using internet yay. And I'm damn shag alr, so I think I'll sleep by 11 tonight haha (:

Whee~ I'm really happy about the grouping improve thing heh. TY ftw!

Modem GG

2009-02-10T23:20:00.002+08:00

Hello

Wa nicelydone. I reach home today after training and dinner like, 8.40pm and my daddy tells me the modem cocked up. No internet at home :\ I'm downstairs by the poolside logging on to the TG-RIA-HOTSPOT lol. Free condo WiFi ftw heh.

Been doing net-based GP work sofar. I might come down here again since well, I'm guessing that it wouldn't have been fixed. It's quiet and windy here, great place, but slightly chilly haha. Need warm guy to snuggle up to :P ! Tmrw just bring jacket down lol, and tie my hair up, it's damn annoying when it's blown all over your face while you're trying to understand what the hell Machiavelli's argument on politics is.

Listening to happy songs by like Click Five haha. It's quite cute. Anyway, I came down without a charger so my batt's about to die and yes I need to go back up. It's getting late anyways. I was just telling my Mom on the way back from the range in the car that the archery guys are getting much much nicer (: Like Muz don't mind waiting half hour for Barbie's mom to fetch her then he takes the train back to Simei. And YW doesn't mind waiting with me till my mommy comes too (:

Okay, freezing my ass off kthxbai.

Movie

2009-02-09T22:07:00.002+08:00

Hello

Haha, went for discipleship! Hazel's baby is due 24th April woo, and I can still remember some of my verses after a long long time x)

Movie was..maybe cos' after what Dlu said I expected myself to be crying my eyes out, but the story itself is, I thought it was pretty good. There's this indignance for Benjamin Button, like all the suffering he went through..also a poignant love story imo. I didn't cry like cry, but just :'( a little at the postcards to his daughter scene.

But yupp, think I'll sleep early tonight, kind of tired overall heh. Tomorrow's tutorial day (yay ._.), hope I stay awake for all of 'em :P

Oh and special mention since YW reminded me a coupla days ago; this is my 69th post. Interesting number, don't you think?

Sunday

2009-02-08T19:26:00.004+08:00

Hello

I just realised that two posts ago 'twas kinda vague. No my heart didn't shatter; that was before and I hope that's all the experience I'll ever get x.x Breaking occurs every now and then, on a deeper level than just 'sad' or just plain ):

Well, I managed to finish Econs essay, and some Math questions during tuition yay. I guess I'll DotA tonight (: Damnit I still need to find a journal to start on the GP articles. It's hella difficult to find things to write about lol.

So..thanks, you guys who asked about me. Reminds me that I still have friends like y'all x) And maybe, I don't need to be everybody's friend, a close group would actually do, and it seems like I have found one heh.

New DLT group today, it's not so bad lah, I mean, I still have Belle in my group (",) Natnat's sort of kind of a decent co-leader also lol, but we tease each other too much haha x) I took Joshua last year, now this year I'm taking his twin, so that's cool too. Joseph's character's different la, gotta remind myself sometimes to not treat him like Joshua. If not, so far it seems like it's gonna be a pretty good year (: Oh and, Belle Joseph taking O's, Natnat and me taking A's, which leaves Sam and Cherie (and Ber/Jez who're irregular) lol. We'll all qiong together for our 'xams then.

Tomorrow got discipleship! After 532586720394875 years, at long last x) Meeting Hazel at J8 at 3.15 for discipleship, then The Curious Case of Benjamin Button at 4.45 with Barbie haha. Seems like a decent show. And timetable for tomorrow is lame: two lectures, two GP thanks.

That's about it, uninteresting life story lor, what to do.

Long Day

2009-02-07T21:27:00.004+08:00

Hello

Wao, emo post for ytd. Lol. Anyways, Take5 was not bad, though I wasn't really helping much :X just kinda walked around and watch stuff, like dunking booth and the bungee run. 'Twas quite cute la heh. Mmm, archers crashed my place after Take5 cos' nothing to do outside. Dlu watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and claimed it was a nice show but tear-jerking, which is t3h show for me, so I'll watch it soon :P

So..today long day lor, went for tuition and said hi to Junyang la, since last week when he asked if I go to Caraven for Econs then I was like 'ack, you mean you're in the same class as me?' lol.

Qiong to church for YF practice, play guitar until my finger tips all raw and painful D: and the side of my index also damn pain from barring haha. Tonnes of barre chords la, play until xiao. But it was a good worship I think (: And Joash played bass! Haha, he can play Hysteria at the original speed also O:

Finally discipleship after YF with Belle and Yining, after how many months x) So..yeah, I should continue it la, make time for them, and Hazel no matter how busy I am. I know I still need God in my life heh. Ohwells, maybe I'll play DotA tomorrow night instead of tonight, try and do abit of work :P

Oh! And I just got cable today. Lol I'll attempt to watch the reruns of Friends whenever I'm home hahaha x)

It's Like Glass

2009-02-06T21:16:00.005+08:00

Hello

Y'know, it's different when your heart breaks and when it shatters.

Heart break is like, break into half. Kope some superglue from my Yu-Gi-Oh toolbox in my bowcase and it's quite easily mended (or will be quite easily mended) because there are no..pieces lying around. Basically, it takes a shorter time to heal.

Shattering is like smashing a glass pane onto the floor. It is extremely tedious if you want to mend it, and when you do mend it, it'll never be whole again.

It sure takes awhile to mend that.

Thursday-which-seems-like-a-Friday

2009-02-05T20:55:00.002+08:00

Hello

Haha, today was Fri's timetable cos' tomorrow's Take5. No lessons ftw! And lol, Tuesday I went for training and I'm shooting back at my old standard. I don't know what happened or whatever, somehow got feel and shoot like my normal grouping lor. Roughly 10 9 9 9 8 6 typa scores (:

So..Wednesday I came like earlier than my normal timing cos' RC only need to settle Take5 Dunking Booth stuff. Reached at like 4.30 and JW said 'whoah ser, trng just ended lor' ._. Ate and went back to shoot with my new 34lbs limbs :D Wah got kick xiah, although my sight only moved up by like..1 box, roughly 1 or 2mm. Anyways, shot about like 5 ends then start to have trouble clicking :$ heh.

And today! Frickin' PE in the morning, ran 1+4 at er 12.50 or something (for the 4 la). I might fail PFT if I don't speed up a lil' heh. Did some Vectors after lunch, then went to school gym x) It's not a bad place, machines are new, very flexible, good stuff (: Ran another round for warmup before doing stuff in the gym la, so I actually covered 2.4km today x)

Well, tomorrow's a nice slacky day, if no casualties I'll be bored outta my wits. I've no more library books also damnit. Mhmm, sleep early tonight, dem shag today haha. Almost fell asleep during tuition just now x)

Archery Tryouts D2

2009-01-30T21:38:00.003+08:00

Hello

Haha, 'twas cooler today! Cos' more people have prior shooting experience. Then not so nubby la haha. Whuh, today damn xian lah.

I reach range 2pm then see Sunny setting up bows in the empty range and I'm like huhwaturf?! And Kim said Tang forgot about Ken booking the range for our tryouts, so Sunny conducting class. Seriously. I was like that's damn retarded, can't we share the range? At least give us two lanes? He one person can watch all five lanes meh, stupid. Then he refuse to share la. He good.

Wahpiang. So we had to wait for him to end his class, then he take his own fricking sweet time to pack the bows la pls. 3pm got J1s coming in already, and we rushed Edmund and Kevin go SA and bring a foamboard back. Started tryouts at 3.15, clear two by two, superbly slow cos Sunny dong want share range ):

We were reaching like 17 and 18, and I checked outside the queue number's chalked up to like 40 something already x.x Quite sad for them also actually, cos' of the stupid cockup la zzzzzz. We'd 60something people today, more than enough to pick our 20 la. Got one damn tall guy who's like, half head taller than YW! Hahaha, Justine taught him at open house, it was damn funny cos he raise bow, she can practically walk underneath his arm la xD Every alternate batch has a YapZhan lor lol.

So yeah, we managed to finish everything by like 6.15, when Sunny finished packing his bows we moved to mid and cleared 4 by 4 luh. Hahaha, it's quite mean lah, but I was sitting there watching them shoot then Ken call me over and ask me to take over Douglas, cos he was doing an Alvin - train them to be Olympic archer lol. Then I sat back down to watch Douglas teach la (Ken said I take over next one) haha, and he was like point out every single thing that's wrong lah, and his charge was always the slowest. Lol like yesterday when Alvin came and tried to teach one girl and she looked damn traumatised hahaha. Information overload :P

And Kim told us a story about how some guy picked up his bow and the end of the limb hooked up a girl's skirt, like zaogeng kinda flare. Lol said girl wasn't wearing any shorts, win right. And Justine and I were like lol! Cos' Junwen did that to me during open house. He keep talking to the RGS girl "here ah, I show you how to pull the bow okay" then never look at the bow when he pick up and the bow limb flipped up the back of my skirt to show uh everybody behind me cos' my back was facing the path where everyone walking la. Hahaha lucky I'm a regular shorts wearer ._.

Okay yay, TGIF much. Do abit of Chem this weekend, then catch up with everything already (: Math I'm ahead, Econs I'm ahead of classwork too :P I should uh, try and stay awake in Physics more haha. I just got my allowance too, double yay aha.

Tryouts and Friendships

2009-01-29T21:42:00.005+08:00

Hello

Haha today tryouts! Juniors got some is pure qianbian (the build and face and attitude), then got one Edmund-type and Justine was damn excited lol, and got those who dry fire bow, ah many. Outta 80 who we expected only 50 turned up, but haha so? We picking 20 only anyways x) There should be more tomorrow heh.

Okay yeah, and I'm somehow feeling somewhat tired la. CBF to actually talk about the two funny stuff ytd that I missed out :P

Side note, lol Valentine's coming, how awesome.

Oh and, I realise that I'm alright with friends-who-don't-tell-me-anything but we-still-do-stuff-together-as-friends friends (: I used to be very..annoyed with people who don't tell me anything about their lives cos' I regularly try to update my closer friends about what I'm doing and people I'm hanging out with and basically what's happening, something like I do that to let them feel valued etc. so I kind of y'know, want to be part of their lives too, at least know about what's happening la haha. I'm quite a talker so I'd like you to talk to me about your life too yes. But recently yeah, I somehow have been pretty open to other people's methods of showing that we're friends. I don't know how to say, it's like a different love language, learning to appreciate someone else's way of showing that yes, I consider you a close friend heh (:

So..yeah, I'm learning a new way to be friends, especially with guys cos' they don't talk. Increasingly don't talk ._. I'd be hella frustrated if it were last time but it's not. So just hang out as buddies and do stuff together la, play pool, play LAN, go movie, go shoot, walk around, crash places, spend time with each other, that's gradually becoming more satisfying for me. Yay.

CCA Day

2009-01-28T21:30:00.002+08:00

Hello

Xiong. Hahaha, today got PE in the morning la, I feel damn weak now. My first PE lesson of the year and we ran 1+4 rounds and did two laps of SBJs up the slope outside the toilets..AND MY QUADS HURT ALREADY )': how sad is that sigh. Ohnoes, weak.

Heh anyway, I just random funny stuff which happened today la, quite alot x) During PE I was doing my 4 rounds, was walking for one section when I heard an extremely characteristic 'SLAUUUUU' from the back and got bunch of guys running towards me, like fanning out. Dem scary, I don't think I'll ever play contact rugby x.x So I just stopped and dodged all of them before continuing. Aye, my cardio fail, but I still can pass 2.4 la, if not must really go /wrist already haha.

Yerps, so..later during Econs tutorial, Mrs. L was explaining some Econs concept, when Jiwei knock door to claim something he forgot. So everyone was just staring at him and getting distracted then suddenly she went 'hurry up go get your stuff la! And don't ever do this again! Disrupting my class when I want to develop an important concept!' with an uncharacteristic smile on her face lol. And he was like 'ahhhahhh okay okay' then siam dem fast. All of us were like 0.0 and Arjun voiced our disbelief 'Mrs. L, he's our future Mr. President leh, how can you treat him this way?!' and she went like 'BIG deal!' and we all laughed la. Klah, she can be quite funny at times I guess lol (:

Lunchtime was balls of fun la, sit with the archers. Like I said, we tend to somehow gravitate to each other when 2 or more are gathered lol. So I saw Douglas, or rather he saw me cos' I was smsing and we put bags down at a nearby table first. Buy food that time saw ZW YW who said their bags were at the loser canteen, so I bought food, put at loser canteen, walk back to main canteen to get my bag from the random table la. Met Junwen OTW there and I told him we're moving cos' apparently JW saw my bag there and put his bag there too! (Even our bags have some kind of attractive power it seems.) Dlu walked past us and said hi also hahaha. So JW Dougie and I moved over to loser canteen, then Justine joined us, and Kevin, and Edmund, and Amin hahaha =D We're cool people heh

Justine made a pretty bad..slip up. Her hand accidentally brushed past my forearm and she was like 'omg ser, you're damn hot' and the entire table just looked at her lol. It was a waturf moment haha. And they were discussing the Twilight series and how .. lame Edward is. Got some pickup line what 'please take care of my heart cos' I gave it to you'? Eeee, lame pls. Justine repeated 'Edward's hot' like three times and I warned her not to do a Freudian slip like last time where she accidentally said Edmund instead of Edward D:

Over lunch Muz and YW were discussing about how constipation is a great workout cos' it works all your core muscles. Fabulous lunch conversation. And other lame stuff also la, like how got this Muhd Adib guy from TKSS on Junwen's J1 phone list signed up then when JW called him, he was like 'Oh yeah, I'm interested in joining Archery but I'm only S4 this year.' Likerr, KNN I'm sure you put your name on the signup sheet lol! Shoulda seen his face when he said that x)

Michy scared Justine from behind and she just screamed into her food with her forkspoon up next to her. Hahahaha, imagine classic Justine moment :P

Heh they left with the bus at 2 and I went up early for RC and the guys were surprised to see me lol, cos I'm uh, not really known for regular attendance x) And I found out today that my freaking mortal Kevin from squash is Sim's brother. AND BAORONG THOUGHT I KNEW SO HE DIDN'T TELL ME HOMG. Ahhhhh T.T But he seems quite unenthu, so whatever la, don't write to me then don't lorrrrrrrr, nyeh. At least there's no characteristics appearing yet lol.

Haha then damn jack la today. I end at 4pm, then go range, reach at roughly 4.40. Thinking that Ken'd leave at 5 from outdoor then can't shoot, so I stay indoor and shoot right. I took store keys, struggle my way up the stairs (remember imba PE lesson this morning) and on my way down I suddenly remembered that I gotta settle post expedition project so I stopped by on the second floor to talk to the Learning Seeds centre supervisor; storeroom key's still with me la haha. Didn't wanna put my case downstairs and come back up to 2nd floor cos' quads hurt, so just dumped my case outside LS and went in to talk to the supervisor. Talk halfway my phone just keep on ringing and JW calling me for keys cos he and Trung came back early. I kept rejecting his calls cos' I was still talking to the supervisor what! So I thought wah, he keep calling me, maybe damn urgent or something, so I finished up quickly and qiong down. Reach range I asked him if he was rushing anywhere and he said no ._. bored then keep calling me. Waturf! Shoot him nao pls someone.

Sat there with JW and Trung and talked for about half an hour or more cos' I didn't feel like shooting yet la :P JW dem sleepy today right, just now at outdoor he stand with Kevin and accidentally dry fired his bow, then he went 'uhhh, I'm slept-deprived' and again, waturf moment hahaha. I was like, so did anyone just give you two slaps straight and ask you how did you feel x)

Oh and Trung saw the photo of me and Alicia on my phone wallpaper, the Christmas play one, where I was supposed to be some mom with Aaron and got all the makeup and shiz. Toom clutched his right side of his chest and went 'wah Serene! Is that..you? It almost gave me a heart..stroke!' JW and I just looked at one another and ROFL lol. Seems like Toom couldn't decide where his heart was, and whether he had a burst blood vessel in the brain or clogged coronary arteries :P

Before JW left, I was like :\ hughug, and he gave me this 'aiyoyo' face and clicked his tongue, but hugged me anyways and I was prettyyyy happy the whole day (: and YW give hughug too, yay bestfriend (: Haha, IDK la, it does help me get over these kind of nonsense-times when I feel all :\ish about the what-could-have-beens.

Ah, I was shooting by myself till like 5.45 and wondering why the hell the archers not back from outdoors when Michy smsed me saying Ken today no class so they still outdoors. WP, say earlier la damnit! I just stayed indoor to shoot 5m lor ._. Nm train form. But still, yes damn jack la tianah. They came back 6.30 and everyone was surprised to see me O: haha.

On the way to the foodcourt Zhiwei left, but I didn't see cos' my back was towards her and I was facing Dougie who waved. So naturally I turned around to see who he was waving at but all I saw were old uncles and nobody seems to be waving back (by then ZW was outta sight haha). I asked, and he told me that he waved at ZW and I was like !I never say byebye! and Justine went 'wahlao DAMN SLOW LA YOU' and I was like eeks! And I ran to her and uh, pushed her lightly from behind :P She did some silent scream thing which was reminiscent of Justine at lunch and I was like hahahahaha (y) la xD

Yepp, ate dinner then went back range, Kevin Yanwei were nice people and shot with me (: And carried my case up also cos' uh my legs were hurtin'. But ofc they're normally nice and carry my case up even when my legs aren't hurting. Hee.

Tryouts tomorrow, I want good fun and nice juniors. I got plan already, first training, we just need 2 J2 guys to loudly offer to carry some of the J2 girls' bowcases, then we shall stare blatantly at the J1 guys until they offer to carry the rest. Aha, great plan ehy, too bad I'm like, can't go for most outdoor trainings already ._. At least until RC stops. Now busy la, Take5 coming up, orientation camp thingy coming up also. Mhmm.

CNY D2

2009-01-27T16:38:00.002+08:00

Hello

Wow, it's the end of the holidays already x.x It's already 4.40 and I just finished gym haha. Didn't go yesterday cos' I was just qionging DotA hee. Now uh..I should probably get started on my Econs essay outline, Alkenes tutorial and Efields tutorial heh. Or maybe at 5pm (:

And Dlu's actually a pretty nice guy la, or maybe I was the lesser of the two evils. I ask him to Enfo with me and he just goes 'okay' and promptly starts the game haha.

Xian lah, everytime I go gym I end up feeling the same: weak. Zzz.

School's really starting, a long short week ahead (only three days but hella packed)..Wed thinking of shooting late permanently, and to work out something cos' redcross'll end at 3.30 and the archers'll be outdoor and Ken leaves at 5 (and we can't shoot outdoor anymore damnit.) Oh, not to mention Tang's kids'll be there at 3. Sigh, maybe I'll drag in school then go range at close to 5 and just shoot indoor.

Thurs got tryouts after school, then I'm probably having dinner with Auntie Eileen's family haha. Dan can't join cos he's in camp :P Nyeh. Fri also tryouts, then got YC meeting in the evening, I'll see how fast I can rush down heh. Deciding DLT groupings also! I'm quite excited for new groups heh, and there might be a swap in DLT leader pairings also...(:

K, till then!

Lunar New Year

2009-01-26T14:33:00.002+08:00

Hello

Lol I came home at 12.30 last night la, slept at about 2 cos' I needed to chat online xD Woke up at 12 today too heh.

Mostly bored now lah, since I'm just stuck at home. SMS abit here and there, nobody's on MSN, play abit of Enfo/DotA lor. I am also considering gym later :P See how lah haha. Ytd mahjong won a few games, roughly learnt HK mahjong..nothing much also lor. Heh, see later when got mood do small Econs HW (;

Happy CNY y'all !

Saturday Evening lol!

2009-01-24T19:14:00.003+08:00

Haha hello again!

Wah, weird double posting. But nemai. Heh, went for tuition, hardcore like two hours Econs, he neh stop talking one la, xiong bo. Met Kevin and Yanwei after their SAT since, well, they taking at Cuppage which is right next to Orchard Plaza where I'm having tuition haha. They supposed to end at 11.45pm so I was like, if you hungry go eat first, but they came out at about 1 cos some idiot don't know how to fill in her name or fill in wrongly or something like that lol.

Went to eat like Pastamania cos YW bored of foodcourt/fastfood. Good life lor lol. Then after that nothing to do, Kevin pangseh'd us for Edmund at Bugis Junction D: You seriously wonder what they're up to la. So..we played pool for slightly more than an hour, then come home. Hahaha xian lah. Mhmm, tomorrow's 除夕, got reunion dinner with like mom's friends cos' we've no relatives in Singapore lol. Got mahjong game at Auntie Sarah's, mom says I can bring one or two friends lol. Everyone's not free except for Dlu and I'm like 'ahhh, damn guailan bringing a guy for reunion' but I smsed Auntie Sarah anyway.

My mom walked past and she so kindly reminded me to say I'm bringing a classmate/schoolmate instead of bringing 'a friend' lol. Misunderstandings ftl. So I guess I'll be out the whole day tomorrow..

Saturday Morning

2009-01-24T10:02:00.002+08:00

Hello

Haha I'm up because I called archery J1s last night and some didn't pick up and one girl rang me at 9.30 this morning @@ Xian lah. I've Econs tuition later at 11 so I'mma leaving soon heh. Well this week's gone by so fast, no time to blog :P

Yesterday I didn't have school, and no school until Wed =D so..long weekend yay. Plus the mahjong session tomorrow afternoon, makes for a good CNY (I get to slack on Mon and Tue cos' I've no relatives in Singapore hee)

I played DotA last night, and the night before too x) Adoh, Junhan and Junwen screw around too much when playing pub, so sometimes we lose la, but we never get thrashed thrashed, like I normally get when I'm alone x) Good games la. I'm still trying to beat Junwen's Radiance at 25th minute @@ On a fricking bad day somemore waturf. Once I got rad at 35minute, and just last night I got my relic at 24th minute! Sounds promising right, but I kept dying then only got rad recipe at 36min x.x Junwen damn encouraging la 'improving ser! Keep it up!' lol. He does that when I ask for his CS also.

Haha the other time lol, 'JW what's your CS?' '80' 'agh omg. Guess what's mine >.<' Dlu went '10' JW went '12?' adoh, they're such.. faithless people xD I got 29 anyway. Heh. JW godlike rice farmer la.

Okay tuition time!

Life, I guess

2009-01-19T23:05:00.001+08:00

Hello

Heh, klah today was a so-so day. Nothing really special happened, but I don't need it to be an extraordinary day to thank God for .. a normal day (: Went on Facebook and saw Mr. F's status as having a bad week cos' both his wife and his son gotta go for operation this week, and I'm like =\ Good health is really transient much, like my headaches also.

I realise that once without the headaches, I don't give a thought to them anymore; it's only when I feel the discomfort then I go rawrrrr. Which sorta makes me think about feelings of sadness, loneliness, anger etc. all these so-called negative feelings. And I think it's true, that without a 'negative' emotion, there wouldn't be any yardstick to measure those emotions against, and we wouldn't actually experience 'positive' emotions, like the feeling of being included in a group, happiness over some trivial matter, or being loved too I suppose.

Still we gotta remember that God's always here for us even in the bad times, ..and with every sad part (I believe) something good will come out of it, always (:

Lol anyway, so..hope I'll get over him soon (: Not that I was originally into him anyways heh.

Another thing heh, the whole retrenchment thing happening globally right..well anyway, thank God that my daddy got offered a working package in HK (: So like, he won't exactly be outta a job la, just that it'll be tough on him flying here and there lor. And it's quite xian for me also, like I won't have my dad around normally la, only on long weekends that kinda thing ): Maybe we can work something out, like some long weekends I fly over to HK instead heh

BCLS

2009-01-17T16:53:00.004+08:00

Hi (:

Yay I passed my Basic Cardio Life Support course at HQ today! Wlaos, damn difficult lor. And I just went gym yesterday, today wake up with whole body aching. Then this BCLS is more accurate than SFA CPR cos' the mannikin's hooked up to a machine and there's a meter thing to check the breathing and compression depth.

So basically for adult CPR you're supposed to blow 400-600mls of air in. Not easy to judge sometimes, cos you might get nervous/excited then take abnormally shallow or deep breaths. So when you blow you should get a green light basically; amber light means too little air, red light means too much. And chest compressions have to be 4-5cm, and yes it is really not easy. Alot of the girls have problem compressing till the meter hits the green section la. Passing criteria is uh, completion of 10blows 150 chest compressions within 130seconds, and cannot have more than 4 blows wrong, 30 chest compressions wrong. Wrong basically meaning, amber or red light la.

Not bad lah, my first attempt was like 4blows wrong and roughly 40 chest compressions too shallow. Next one all blows correct and 15 chest compressions wrong only xD So yay, I am now qualified to check your pulse and administer CPR if you do collapse on the street. SFA trained people only can administer CPR lol; I got extra qualification to check your pulse. Oh! And I learnt infant CPR also (which was tested) and sort of two-man CPR (which was optional) haha. CPR really tiring la, 2-man would be alot easier.

Mhmm, one more thing (: Yanwei came to Dhoby to have lunch with me today! That was really sweet, and platonic guy friends are the best x) Whee, cool bestfriend I have (:

Zzz

2009-01-14T17:12:00.003+08:00

Hello

Wah zzz, I'm actually quite pissed with myself. I don't think things through before doing them. Damnit, I need to talk less, listen more, and..think more.

Gah, self-control x.x

And I'm finding those post-it-notes for desktops. Sticky Notes/TurboNote that typa thing. I shall attempt to start something new, and 'stick' all my homework assignments on my desktop, maybe that'd remind me when I get bored and get tempted to DotA x)

Ahhhh God help me with the self control please T.T

School

2009-01-12T16:23:00.003+08:00

Hello

Ack, school's reopened! It's like back to green skirts and guys-in-white lol. Got a new timetable today, it's kinda =\ Basically Monday ends 1420, Tuesday 1515 T.T it used to be my earliest day at 1325 sigh..Wednesday got assembly and training as usual, Thursday ends 1325 (which is good!) but it's a full day without breaks from 750 in the morning X.X Friday ends 1230 cos' it's a H3 day :P

Hee, I see a potential gym day on Friday! Now I just gotta find out who's gonna come with me haha. I'll probably be training on Monday Wednesday and .. one more day, depends on which day I don't have tuition. Hmm..Physics/Math once or twice a week, gotta fix schedule with Kevin and Edmund =\ then Econs on Saturdays..And I might even go get tuition for Chemistry sigh.

So..RJ, I mean, RI had homecoming for us today. I sent in two archery photos and they were pinned up along 'Memory Lane' at the canteen area haha (: Today was slacky cos' first day x) and tomorrow's half day cos' OpenHouse prep! Then Wed no school :P First half da week'd be cool, but it's not like I miss school/friends alot, cos' I see the archery gang every other day during hols anyway!

Oh and yesterday Coach Kim from Korea came to conduct some course. He got one whole team of coaches and most of us getting coached 1:1 or 1:2. And my coach was like '..do you have a lighter bow? We can work on your form with that first..' Ahhhh! Zibei! So much for upgrading limbs, I needa go gym before this emo-ness wears off!

And I also starting to get scared for A's already lol, I tried damn hard this morning to stay awake during Physics la. I think I'll go bathe now and .. pack my table and try to look through Chemistry Alkenes (since I wasn't entirely paying attention today x.x)

One last, Foolai's stopped playing, Jeremiah's probably stopping very very soon, Jiahong's uninstalled WCIII, Junhan's switched to a MacBookPro, Junwen obliged to play with last night "I'll play with you if you want to lo" he said.....I think I should stop soon mhmm.

Chalets

2009-01-09T23:55:00.003+08:00

Hello

Haha dem shag la, just came back from ISLE chalet wed-thurs, then archery stayover thurs-fri. ISLE was at SAF chalet in Changi and it's an awesome place x) similar to NSRCC typa villa/bungalow feel (: And of course, a 5 minute walk down to Changi Village hawker centre which has quite alot of army guys cos Changi Camp's nearby heh. Hehheh.

Wed night I slept early, like 11pm I went up to the beds to try and sleep cos' my headache was damn bad, and I was almost puking already. Damnit, I was just about to join Jiahong and Jeremiah for Enfo. I managed to sleep like 12-10 the next morning haha, and just talked with Subra and Toonwei in the living room lol. Only three of us + Daniel in the house, all the rest left for Oteam stuff in school.

Anyways, Muz was really really nice! He stays in Melville Park which is in Simei, but he took a bus to Changi Village to meet me, and because I was carrying a mahjong set, he walked like 10minutes to the chalet unit I was at to help me carry (: And later on we took bus 9 and passed by his house. Means he actually uh, went further east to pick me, then go back to Bedok lol. Really nice of him (:

Met Justine and Zhiwei at Bedok Interchange and was..about twenty minutes late T.T But just nice the bus come la, so wasn't as bad as say, just missed the bus x) One hour 15mins bus ride to Yishun Interchange to meet Yanwei to go his aunt's place to chillax. The rest streamed in one after another la, I didn't really keep track, had a slight headache all the way luh.

Haha, IDK la, the girls were amusing themselves on the bus with my Freudian slips, uh, most notably typoing dick for disk on MSN a coupla times, to guyfriends no less x.X Talk about self jack la srsly. Whatev. Anyway, I had this damn self jack moment also. I was slurring my words and somehow I managed to shorten the sentence 'Yanwei's watch is damn hot' to 'Yanwei's hot' which is like...yes, a totally different meaning I know. Hahaha, I think the pills really do have an effect on me la, keep doing this kind of weird things, while playing DotA also.

We took bus and got off at this damn ulu bus stop with a forest on the right and a wide expanse of grass on the left. So uh..we played mahjong and slacked on the rooftop almost the entire time until they started fogging the place at 7plus pm. Waturf, what kind of stupid pest control company fogs a residential area at night when people are all home from work and eating dinner damnit.

Amin Kevin Dlu and I were just chatting cos I didn't wanna use my brain so much. Recalled those funny DotA incidents that we've gone through lol. And I asked Dlu about the extra EXP and gold gain by DotA AI. I wanted to know roughly how it works and then he said that AIs start with 300 more gold, mana regen is like dunno 50% more or something, and all their consumables (tangoes, flasks, clarities) are free. He said it in this matter-of-fact way and I went '0.0 dude! You've been an AI before? How the hell'd you know that consumables are free for them lol!' Hahaha, he frequents the DotA mechanics forum, while I frequent the strat x) Usually DotA mechs I'd ask him anyway, like what attacks are ministuns (which are modelled after storm bolt or something.)

Basically we just hung out and played cards and mahjong and chatted lor. Dlu read his chinese romance novels and I was attempting to read a sex scene out loud lol. It doesn't even sound like one anymore cos I don't know how to read say, 1 out of every 4 words xD

The guys slept earlier than us x) about 2 I should think. We thought they'd be cold so we found three comforters and snuck over to their room to cover them with blankets. Lol it was hilarious! Justine took one comforter, and she me Zhiwei went into the guys' room and we waited for awhile for our eyes to adjust cos' it was pitch black in 'ere. Then we realised that all the guys didn't seem to have any blankets or jackets. So Justine was like 'uhhhhh one comforter's not enough. Go back and get more.' And Zhiwei went out first, then I went out and closed the door. Justine was inside !@#$% cos she was gonna follow us but I didn't see the need to cos she was already holding a comforter! Haha, her watch glows in the dark so she was like 'omgomg' and she stood damn still and covered her head and hand/watch with the blanket, until we came back lol.

We found another two comforters and we were like 'ah..yeah they'll be cold. klah give all to them'. Zhiwei and I went into the room again, and Justine was like 'ahhhh why did you leave me here?!' in a whisper cos the guys were still sleeping xD We stared really long at Dlu, who was on the windowsill cushiony area, and we concluded that he looked quite wrapped up in one or two jackets, so we left him alone. On the extreme left of the foam mattresses was Muz, but we stared really long at the black mass and Justine concluded it was a huge black mass, therefore this fellow has a jacket or something. So we flung one comforter over the next two guys next to Muz, and flung another over the next two as well, leaving Yanwei at the extreme right. We managed to somehow cover their feet also, cos if their feet are cold, chances are they'll feel cold too. So it was like 'ah, blanket not big enough, poor Yanwei. Okay I guess he solo one blanket lor' and we gave him one. Went back feeling accomplished heh.

I continued talking on the phone with Irvin cos' I smsed him to ask for some stuff and he replied me immediately, like at 1am. Then later on he called me and I was like 'eeps. How come you're not sleeping?' and he went 'wahlao, you woke me up with your sms la. Freak you, I took one hour to get to sleep lor. You know how scary Tekong is or not? There's no one in my bunk also la' Hahahaha I was like 'ahhhh paiseh paiseh, I buy you lunch on Sunday xD' then he went 'eh I don't care you better talk to me until I fall asleep again la.' And I talked until my phone battery died x)

So..slept at 4.30 after talking with the girls for awhile. I was bemoaning the fact that somehow, these archery guys have turned us into their 'moms' x.x And Barbie woke me up at 10 to eat breakfast. Damnit why the hell do I want breakfast?! I haven't even slept enough! Rawr. Oh in the middle of the night I was damn cold, I just turned to Barbie and grabbed the blankets from on top of her cos the aircon was blowing right at me hahaha. She was damn warm la, my legs touched her legs (cos' we were all squeezing on the bed) and like wah imba godsend. And in the morning she told me that she was feeling damn warm and when my legs touched hers she was like wahh cold, good stuff. Hahaha.

Oh and! Barbie woke up in the morning and heard the guys' reactions to the blanket thing. I don't really recall but I think Kevin was like 'Eh so cool, we got blankets!' and Muz went 'Huh what blanket!' (cos' we missed him out with the huge black hulking form on the extreme left) and Amin was freezing cos' he was in the middle of the two blankets, and the left one probably got yanked left and the right one got yanked right so he froze x) Kersh had no blankets and was uh, snuggling to Yanwei who was all wrapped up in his solo blanket lol. Warm what xD Damnit, Barbie shoulda taken a photo hahaha.

Okay I'm going to gg soon. Bai (:

2009-01-07T00:11:00.003+08:00

Hello

Ah, I went for the appointment with some doctor in the Surgery Department or something. Relatively cute Malay doctor haha (: 'neways, he was really nice cos my mom was all agitated about the scan that the previous three doctors refused to give, and he was like 'ah okay can, I put her as urgent CT scan?' Then I went to make the appointment and they gave me tomorrow morning 8.10am lol. Talk about speeeeedy.

So..yeah, had tuition, boring day overall. And tomorrow also hella xian, gotta run around with the councillors for orientation dry run =\ At least I've a chalet tomorrow, and a stayover on Thurs night. SAF resort! The country's best men (:

Speaking of which, haha, Daniel's enlisting this Friday! Temporary hair loss lol. Pray that he'll be fine in camp (: He's really a good guy haha. And I like the Archery windbreaker ! It's pretty haha, and has my name on it xD I think I'll alternate wearing that and ehh, the Goretex jacket Caleb buying for me heh x)

So..CT scan tomorrow morning! Then out the whole day, go SAF resort for ISLE chalet, Thursday go Khatib for Archery stayover. I hope I survive (:

Oh oh, and that Malay doctor today, prescribed me another 84 pills of the muscle relaxant and the painkiller o.O I haven't even finished the previous one of 40pills, and I've actually already taken 20 before that. 20 of each mind you. Gonna develop immunity soon srsly.

AAS Addendum

2009-01-05T00:35:00.003+08:00

Heh hello

I missed out a coupla photos from AAS before. Here they are. I think I may have fallen in love with my team (:
heartts.

Update

2009-01-03T17:13:00.004+08:00

Hello

Well this doctor (I went back to A&E again. I'm there so often that I even recognise the nurses ._.) suspects I might probably have something called a tension headache. He says caused by stress or poor posture typa thing so..I'mma supposed to watch my posture when I sleep, and find out what the hell I'm so stressed about.

Seems more likely, this, than the brain still shaken up explanation that I got. Cos' the previous A&E docs prescribed me a headache pill which also functions as a muscle relaxant and when I take it, it works. The private doctor just gave me headache pills which didn't help at all. Like after I take the headache doesn't even stop.

Breathlessness caused by the tension in my neck muscles cos' it's also connected to the muscles around my chest wall which affects how much my lungs can expand when I breathe, or something along those lines.

Hope that I can still go for the chalets later on in the week (: I feel alot better now knowing what's wrong with me lol. My mom almost wanted me to be warded so that they can do more tests on me heh.

Oh and on a side note, cos' yesterday I went back to school to 'do' redcross stuff, but I ended up just sleeping on the bench cos' the headache didn't go away :X And we had to carry some plastic bags from near Raja Block all the way to MPH. It's quite far and I didn't wanna do two trips so I just tank all the shit la. When I reached the amphi area I was already kind of struggling lol :$ weak. Basically I was thinking 'wah if only some cool nice guy'd appear and help me carry my stuff =D like...Kevin, or ... Yanwei..or Junwen, ah but he's in Thaila-..' and Nigel pops out and says hi and offers to carry a bag (: Heh, coolbeans xD Yeah that's about it lol.

Agh

2009-01-02T21:21:00.003+08:00

Hello

Agh, I feel absolutely miserable now. Damn headache's back, and nausea too, plus breathlessness ._. Went back to A&E this afternoon, got more painkillers and a schedule for an appointment with a specialist. My mom's good, originally they gave me a 5th February appointment but she made noise and they uh, gave me one on 20th Jan, and then 6th Jan lol.

I hate this, I can't do anything but sit and mope around zzz. I think I'm addicted to productivity. I like to do things fast, get things over and done with in the shortest amount of time possible (different from not procrastinating). It's like I pride myself on doing stuff fast, then now I'm unable to contribute to uh, RedCross open house stuffs and I feel damn useless and basically annoyed with myself that I'm so noob.

Rawr, at least I haven't puked out my dinner. Yet.

What a way to start the new year kthxbai.

LAN

2008-12-29T22:14:00.006+08:00

Haha hello

I love the archery people. Seriously. Well, today we went to watch Ip Man! And YES, Donnie Yen is hella cool. Whee ~

We played LAN after that for four and a half hours. Full house LAN throughout, so it was pretty darned awesome yeah. Junwen Dlu Edmund Kevin Shanhui Stanley Amin Muz Teri and me xD Okay so I'll just spam funny things that happened when I remember them (:

On the way out from Parklane to PS to eat dinner, I stand in front of Edmund and Junwen and they were having a conversation over my head. Agh. Dlu made a Ken-joke; Junwen got sunburnt cos he has 1. more surface area and 2. I'm further away from the sun than he is (like shorter ._. tyvm) , that's why he got burnt and I didn't. I whacked Junwen's sunburnt arm hard for that x)

During dinner we were talking about Junwen's mosquito bites from Zhenghua range, cos he had an armful of them, srsly.
Me : Junwen what's your blood type?
JW : .....I don't know. But I think my arm too steady already, that's why they keep biting me.
Us: Then Kevin's arm would have swelled to twice its size!
Me: Hmm..mosquitoes find..targets based on heat and..?
Dlu: CO2
Us: Oh! That would mean..
JW: Wah I'm too hot already la.
Then Kevin leaned forward and stuck his elbow in a piece of tomato on his tray. That was totally sick.
Kevin : Ayeeeeeee! YUCK, tomato! -insert Kevin expression-

Junwen playing Pugna, his items were same for like five levels or more because every time team clash, they kill him first. I sat next to him, so he keep complaining xD

Epic fight when I was Axe. Teri next to me 'omg omg ser NS coming for you'. NS was Amin, and bloody fat. So I ran back from top lane and snuck into the secret shop and bought TP scroll and TPed home. Except it didn't happen so calmly;
Me: OMGOMG they coming right holyshit!
Teri: RUN INTO SS AND BUY TP SCROLL, QUICK THEY COMING!
Me: ahhhhhhh! -runs into SS at toplane- where the omg shit NO SPACE! -sold ggbranch and frantically click tp back to base- (this was when I caught a glimpse outside, NS pacing the top lane, and CW running about also, then I got damn scared)
So I'm there TPing and Junwen pops his head over and says 'hey you left a TP scroll there' and suddenly CW blink in stomp and I went HOMGZ hit F1 twice and realised I'm back at base. Teri and I were laughing so hard and Junwen told them that 'the hero no more, but TP scroll there for you (:' Edmund said it right (over dinner), it was a pure panic attack xD

Teri QoP juked Amin NS at bottom lane. Now Amin says we bully him cos he not familiar with new map. Haha. So the NS run around at bottom while Teri ran into forest and met Junwen who was Rhasta and Rhasta pwnt the NS at night xD JW was happy about that heh.

At the end of one game, Teri was BH, red hp. WWed to their base and bought TP and TPed home xD damn smart lorh haha

Junwen Rhasta that game, in the beginning like at level 2. He soloing mid and he realised that his mouse screwed up. Both buttons were rightclick, so he can't left click. Tried to fix it, butthen the mouse got mood then go back to the both being rightclick thing la. He later told us that he dropped his Eul's quite a few times, cos rightclick Eul's (thought he left clicked) and leftclick the hero; so he walked up to the hero and dropped his Eul's next to him, which I must say is a very interesting phenomenon and we would have laughed at him if we noticed, but amazingly nobody did. Probably cos he did that in team fights haha.

Muz was Drow at bottom lane. Teri BH, Amin Jakiro. Drow half HP, BH uh, IDK, whacked and tossed I think, Muz insta dead. Jakiro came in one second after BH and macropyred and iced the spot Muz was at. Muz was like 'whoah Amin, great aiming, if not for the fact that I was already dead!' I watched the entire thing hahaha.

I was playing Axe and Edmund playing a fat CW (with blink and kept owning Junwen who was Rhasta IIRC) I was really happy with myself because Level 11 Axe me farmed up a vanguard and blink, which is fast for my standards. But Edmund alr vanguard blink and BoT, zibei. So I was about 600g away from my HoT recipe and Edmund was really really fat.
Me: "Edmund! Buy me a heart please!"
Stanley: "Lol you heartless."
Ed : "You come my team la :P"
Me : "Noo, he stole my heart )= gotta buy me the recipe lol"

Edmund Sven, beyond godlike that game. Top lane team clash, Ed came late then the five opposite heroes milling about there. Edmund just walk through the entire team of five heroes and nobody stunned him, he got a few kills I think. And all the while Junwen was next to me very very agitated cos' he was the first to die 'wah omg omg STUN HIM LA STUN THE SVEN!' But nobody did heh.

Amin Jakiro. Tried to backstab midlane, but went to buy stuff. He rightclicked somewhere and his THD walked straight into the midlane heroes (like on the wrong side of the river I think). Got his ass raped xD

Muz played Enigma, and he was always outside of the team clash, like 200-300 units away and he casts black hole. Junwen told him to get BLINK and Muz went to get Lothar's, for no good reason, and unused most of the time also. That was the game Junwen lost badly. I was in between Muz and Junwen so I was sorta getting screened.

Another time Junwen pinged forest, ran in and realised he was alone; nobody backed him. Also got his ass raped. He was quite agitated, next to me x)

I was playing Treant, ran to river, found DD, pinged teammates and realised mid was coming down river. I took it and ran to bottom lane, to the trees and guised myself. Junwen ran to where I was, screened me, then dusted the area. They got four heroes, my tree got raped. Haha.

Dlu playing PA, blinked to Amin NS to try and kill, NS void and PA died. Lol.

Dlu's PA, double crit 1.3k dmg each with DD rune on Kevin's Gorgon. GGFail x)

And, every single time I look to Junwen's screen next to mine, his CS is double mine. Always. Sometimes triple mine. Only once when he was the Rhasta and his mouse giving him problems, i.e. on a 'bad' day, his CK 28 and mine was a good day, CK 23. Sigh.

Third game we played, I was different team from JW. Edmund Sven the beyond godlike game cos we kept aiming Junwen. Everytime team clash, first one we find was Junwen, Pugna I think. Plus I kept shouting in All chat to aim him x)

Overall, helluva good time. You guys rock (: Even you three who neh play and went to pool instead hahaha

Because Of Love

2008-12-28T20:51:00.003+08:00

Totally different topic so I'm doubleposting x)

Found this on JMom's blog, it's probably the only blog I actually follow on a daily basis because yeah, some stuffs are really encouraging to me.

I made her. She is different. She's unique. With love I formed her in her mother's womb. I fashioned her with great joy. I remember with great pleasure the day I created her. (Psalm 139:13-16)

I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh and the silly things she says and does. She brings me great pleasure. (Psalm 139:17)

I made her pretty and not beautiful, because I knew her heart and knew she would be vain. I wanted her to search out her heart and to learn it would be Me in her that would make her beautiful and would draw friends to her. (I Peter 3:3-5)

I made her in such a way that she would need Me. I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be, only because I want her to turn to Me in her loneliness. Only because I need for her to lean to and depend on Me. I know her heart. I know if I had not made her like this she would go her own way and forget about Me, her Creator. (Psalm 62:5-8)

I have given her many good and happy things because I love her. (Psalm 84:11 and Romans 8:32)

Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart and the tears she has cried alone. I have cried with her and had a broken heart too. (Psalm 56:8)

Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone, only because she would not hold My Hand. So many lessons she has learned the hard way, because she would not listen to My Voice. (Isaiah 53:6)

She is mine. I made her then I bought her because I love her. (Romans 5:8)

I have to reshape and remould her, to renew in her what I want her to be. It has not been easy for her or for me. (Jeremiah 29:11)

I want her to be conformed to My Image. This high goal I have set for her because I love her. (2 Corinthians 2:14)

Hmm..it really made me think. God loves me, He was really happy when He made me, He made me pretty, He made me me. And if He knows when a sparrow falls, how many hairs are on my head, I can trust Him right? Why not, since He is almighty + He loves me therefore He won't harm me what. Trust in God for the future is..it's such an envious thing that..I don't know, some of my friends do not have. Maybe that is why I appear so carefree; because I know that well, God will provide for me some way or another.

If you disbelieve, by all means disbelieve. But know that I'm praying for you (:

AAS Competition 08

2008-12-28T20:02:00.004+08:00

Wow hello

So..I just came back from AAS comp at Zhenghua range. Sigh. I'll let pictures do the talking.

NEVER ANCHOR PROPERLY HOMGPHAIL.

Score sheets, click to enlarge and see our failure scores.
Armguard mark hoho.So..that's about it for today I guess. Disappointing, the scores, but nothing I can do about it now, only to train harder for intersch in April.

Musing

2008-12-27T22:48:00.002+08:00

Ah

Just a random muse. Suddenly recalled the time not-too-long-ago where..a friend of mine (no less the guy I used to like) said something very hurtful. I still remember it pretty vividly. He asked me to lie to his girlfriend regarding his computer gaming habits. And..both of them were good friends of mine, and Christian too. I was..I don't know, I told him in the face (actly thru SMS la, but directly lor) that he as a Christian brother shouldn't be asking me to sin against God to well, save his own skin. I recall he blew up at me, and really twisted words to hurt me, through SMS, but he was an expert with the subtle nuances of English (which is actly one of the reasons why I liked him).

I was crying my eyes out in front of the com, horrible experience, late at night somemore. It was really ugly. Told another sort-of mutual friend about it who advised me to take it easy, and sleep it off, which I eventually did. Crying helps sleep heh. And actually, later on he did apologise, and the mutual friend also apologised for telling him that I was uh, bawling my ass off that night. I felt slightly cheated la, the confidence thing, but I understood where he came from and eventually I was pretty thankful for such a loyal friend.

God-given, precious, trusted, respected, and loved. PTL.

Aww

2008-12-27T22:36:00.003+08:00

Hello

Heh, aww fuzzy feeling (: I just read this on Nigel's blog lol.

ahh sighhh emoish!!.. [insert ggsmiley here which can't be shown on blogger without special tags and I'm lazy to find them] on christmas eve haha.. :X am talking to serene!.. she really brightens up my day haha.. or night in this instance haha whatevers..

Thankyou :D I've awesome friends who brighten up my day, and I pass it on, and it comes back like karma lol..whee warmfuzzyfeeling !