Idolatry

Hello

Today's message in All Soul's was on idolatry, with reference to Psa 119 : 41 - 48.

ו Waw

⁴¹ May your unfailing love come to me, LORD,
your salvation, according to your promise;
⁴² then I can answer anyone who taunts me,
for I trust in your word.
⁴³ Never take your word of truth from my mouth,
for I have put my hope in your laws.
⁴⁴ I will always obey your law,
for ever and ever.
⁴⁵ I will walk about in freedom,
for I have sought out your precepts.
⁴⁶ I will speak of your statutes before kings
and will not be put to shame,
⁴⁷ for I delight in your commands
because I love them.
⁴⁸ I reach out for your commands, which I love,
that I may meditate on your decrees.

The preacher drew our attention to the psalmist's love for the Lord. He says, may your unfailing love come to me, I will always obey your law, I delight in your commands because I love them, I reach out for your commands that I may meditate on your decrees. This was obviously a hunger and longing for God's word, and that is amazing. I dunno, I guess I haven't actually felt something like that before, like a burning passion to know something etc. And well, he said that if we do not feel this passion and longing, it is highly likely we have idols in our hearts.

Idols don't necessarily take on a solid form, even I've heard that many a time. We taught this in NC for one of the smallgroup sessions that it's anything which takes the place of God. Maybe cos it was repeated so many times in this exact same way, it kinda lost its impact. The preacher today, he told us a story of a man who had to work abroad, and his fiancée was at home and y'know, finish working, come home to an empty house, feel lonely, and she read his letters every night before she went to sleep. Why? She obviously longs for him, in a lovesick kind of way..She didn't read his letters out of duty or discipline, or a nightly ritual; she did it because she missed him and longs for him. It painted a pretty powerful picture in my mind, I assure you.

And idols, they can be something as good as wanting to be a good christian leader, or a good small group leader, or a good testimony to others, or even a good girlfriend or wife or mother. These are all very good goals, but it turns into idolatry when this goal turns from being a good thing, to being the ultimate thing. The preacher mentioned another hypothetical scenario. A good, deeply committed Christian girl decides to turn her back on Christianity and marries the most eligible bachelor in her workplace. Good relationship, good marriage. But her want to become a good wife and mother >>> God! That's idolatry! If your want to be a good girlfriend to someone triumphs your want to know God more, that's idolatry!

This was insane, it struck me like ... shuttlecocks on a regular badminton social (I really do get hit alot, I realise) ! One of the questions he asked was what do we daydream about? Ohhhhh, that is one scary question. But there is definitely a link between what we daydream about, or our worst nightmare, and whether or not we long and thirst for God's word. Thinking long and hard about it, I think I normally end up daydreaming about boys. And continuing on from that train of thought, I am just majorly looking forward to er, getting a boyfr, or having a decent guy express interest in me, something like that. Probably more so than wanting to walk closer with God. I don't believe this feeling will ever fade, now I just pray that because it is God who planted this desire in my heart, to want to be a good girlfriend, wife and mother and serve the people in my life, he will grant it to me. But while I wait, I am certain that God wants me to serve him and him alone, to find my sufficiency in him and him alone, to trust also in him and him alone. All humans are fallible, God isn't. Putting my trust in the Lord, my Jehovah Jireh, is definitely definitely the way to go; and I mustmustmust learn this, even if it's through the hard way.

Just today, I think it's near that time of the month, I was really emotional. The whole day was just, omg I suck, why is my arrow grouping so big, why am I not hitting basic badminton shots, what am I doing wrong, WHY THE FREAKING HELL CAN'T I PLAY PROPERLY, why am I so useless, I feel so unvalued, zzz if I had a boyfr now I would go over to his hall and ask for a nice big hug, why am I so dependent on hugs from others, ...... and I remembered today's message about daydreams and idols :O

Guess I've found my idols. Pray that I will find my sufficiency in God, and all these things, they will not matter, because I will be content in my God, and know that God made me, fashioned me in my mother's womb, has a purpose for me, loves me above all else, more than anyone can, more than I can, and this is because His Son died for me. I am washed clean in His blood, righteous, and I know I am His, I will take delight in his law, and read His letters because I miss God, not out of duty or a ritual.